If You Can't Say Anything Nice...Don't Look at These Dresses

Claire Danes

So yes, I watched the Emmy's tonight.  While I cleaned my kitchen, did some craft projects, cut my dead flowers from their bushes, vacuumed, went for a run...you know the usual. A special shout out to the invention called the DVR.   And after it was done, all I remembered was Kerry Washington's beautiful gown, and how bad Claire Daines looked when she beat her.

I will let you look up Kerry's as I am sure you will see plenty of it.  Especially due to the fact she didn't win.  But here is Claire's.  Its so... flat.  And yes, I mean flat chested.  I have never wanted to scream, "Get a Boob Job" at anymore more than at her at this very moment.  And I have said it before, she is a pale young lady, was this really the best color?

Alas this wasn't the worse dress for me, sadly it was not even close.

Lena Durham

Lena Dunham from Girls dress reminded me of the Disney classic Alice in Wonderland.  Remember the part where the cards are painting the roses red?  Well now hopefully you have "We're painting the roses red, painting the roses red..." stuck in your head now too.  Regardless I think you get my point.  Not only is the skirt enormous, the dress kind of looks tacky and cheap to me.  And this is for last years winner and nominee for Best Lead Actress.  YIKES!

Zosia Mamet

But even worse may be her co-star ( I guess, I had to look up who she was) Zosia Mamet's dress.  Kinda looks like someone threw paint all over her dress and then blamed it on the Hamburglar!  Yep, I said Hamburglar!  Did anyone tell her, the strapless bra goes underneath the dress and not on top of it?  Really so many jokes, so little time.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Let us be honest, this is more or less the Oscars of television.  So I gotta think all these women had to have had stylists.  And if they didn't, its their own fault.  I am pretty sure I criticized Lena's last year so apparently she doesn't read this blog.  And maybe she should.  ("We are painting the roses red...")  I am going to give some sage advice here ladies, so please listen up.

Step 1) Burn these dresses, except maybe Claire.  Claire give to someone who can fill it out.  
Step 2) Fire your current stylists (if you have one) 
Step 3) Hire NEW competent stylists or hire one (if you didn't have one in step 2
Step 4) Sign up to read this blog...

All and all, I gotta say this is a BURN and FIRE post for all three ladies.  Check out various locations for other Emmy dress fails...and a few wins.  At least I missed most of these on the original viewing, though it may have made it a bit more interesting!