Only Suitable for a PacMan Video Game!!!

Its not going out on a limb to call Chloe Sevigny "quirky."  As an independent movie darling, I suppose she has earned this right.  However when going to a serious movie, such as 'Lincoln', I am not sure that is the best place to show off that particular side.

In New York she wore this black and white suit, which perhaps because I am hungry, reminds me of hamburgers.  I am not sure even the 'Hamburglar' would approve.  And this would be a dream from PacMan and Ms. PacMan.  But really, to a red carpet premiere?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

With bold patterns like this, you need at least one of your pieces to be a solid.  And a turtleneck undershirt probably wasn't enough of one.  Either her jacket or pants should of been a solid.  Maybe jeans with this would of worked.  Or even some sort of pop of color to try and help divert ones eyes from the human size video game. Heck, even the pants are too long, a pointed toe shoe coming out the bottom in a great color would have helped.  The whole thing is pretty atrocious. 

Chloe, I am going to hope that your people didn't do this you, as that would just be mean.  And I would hope they know better. But I would BURN the entire outfit, as you nor I are not going to lose any sleep if this outfit goes away FOR-EVER.  And next time, if they allow you out in public again, remember to pair bold patterns with a solid or a smaller pattern.  And to not wear your hamburgers out, you eat them!

Sheer Dresses, Bad Shoes and Rainboots at Breaking Dawn Premiere

Kristen Stewart

Well  it is November 14th and that only means one thing, come Thursday night at Midnight, the "Twilighters" will be out full force, as Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out.  And I would like to say if Part one and the outfits at the premiere are any indication of how the next part will be...I will be taking my time to rush to the theater.  Not only did the first part make me never want to ever have a vampire baby (I know right?), but it left me not as excited for part 2 of what was my favorite book in the series. Yes, I read them. No I am not ashamed.  But trying to give it a chance, I took a whirl around the premiere circuit of photos and found some awful examples of what not to do when you are an actress...or a female dressing for the red carpet.

Lets start with the star, Kristen Stewart.  Although I was shocked to see her out of her standard tight black jeans and black leather jacket...ummm, I think this dress might be a little too sheer.  She looks like an anatomically correct Barbie when you take her clothes off.   I appreciate the attempt, but millions and millions of people are going to see this.  I personally would of not gone this direction, it leaves a little too little for the imagination.


Elle Fanning


Then we move on to Dakota Fannings, Lil sister Elle.  While Elle is not in the movie, Dakota is. And I would be mad if my Lil sister stole attention from me at my own premiere.  However, it was not not in a good way.  It looks like her dress skirt was too long and she decided just to wrap it around her waist.  And the shoes?  These may be the worst shoes I have ever Ever EVER seen. I am assuming she tried for a Japanese theme, but she failed. Miserably.  A sumo outfit may have come off better than this pink number.

Alexandra Patsavas

And finally, Alexandra Patsavas.  Yeah I don't know who she is either.  She is a music supervisor who worked on the film.  So not an actress, but still should be used to dressing for premieres...or to go out in public.  And while I admire her attempt at color, not sure yellow looking rain boots are the way to go.  Especially in what is one of the most anticipated red carpets of the year.  But alas, this is what she decided to go with.

Hmmm, how to save the outfits?

I can explain away a lot, but you gotta think that if you are planning to attend such a big premiere, you would dress accordingly.  I think Kristen just made a bad choice.  Perhaps her and her people wanted to make a statement, but not sure this is the right one.  I do like that she dressed up, so she did get a few points.  But Elle and Alexandra...there are no words.  If a picture tells a thousand words, then these pictures are all curse words!

 

Elle and Alexandra need to BURN their entire outfits and go home.  And Kristen, while I don't think the dress was great, it could be better with a longer slip skirt.  So just try to do better, but again, you are out of jeans! 

You Are about 2 YEARS LATE Misha Barton

Sorry for the delay in posting, moving sure takes a lot of your time.  However, I am back up and running as they say, so for my next victim, I mean celebrity...Its Misha Barton.  Yes, some of you may remember her from 'The OC' and I think she was on a cancelled show about models too.  But I don't recall her doing anything currently.  But none the less, she is in Australia and trying to get her face out there.

Hat at Melbourne Cup

However not sure if showing your face under these hats are the way to go.  I found the first one of her attending the Melbourne Cup.  Kinda reminds me of one of those coffee cup home decor paintings with the steam rising up.  Not sure why she would want to pair that with a Indian serape, but to each is own. 

Hat at YRC Luncheon

And then the next one is at the VRC Oaks Club luncheon, also in Melbourne.  And apparently a hat is required there too.  The flower looks like something I have from a beach potpourri set I have in my bathroom, sewn onto a Japanese hat.  The saving grace is at least the dress is cuter than the first one and a bit more appropriate for a luncheon.  But still, who is really looking at the dress?

Hmmm, how to save the outfits???

Well first off...you could just take off the hats.  I am all for headwear, but make them reflect the outfits you are wearing.  The one for the YRC affair would be fine without the white paper mache looking flower.  And the other, well I think she is about 2 years too late for Prince William and Kate's wedding.  These hats would fit in nicely there.

Not to harp on Misha, not sure she has a fashion team standing by to help her out.  But unless going to a royal wedding or costume party, I would BURN both these hats.  The rest of the outfits are not awful, but again with such drastic hats, who will even notice them?

A 'Cutout' Above the Rest? Not this Time.

I know Mena Suvari's career has been slow since the mid-2000's, when the American Pie movies took a break...as did her fame.  (I am not trying to be mean, it is what happened-Google it!)  And now it looks like she has to revert to drastic methods to scare up some publicity.  I.E., this outfit she wore to an H&M affair in New York.

This black cutout bra on a nude long sleeve top, navy skirt and silver gum wrapper purse was what she thought looked good I guess.  I suppose the top might be from one of H&M's lines, which might be cute for a young 20-something with the right skirt, but neither the skirt nor Mena were able to pull this off.  It kind of reminds me of those dress up doll games you played when you were kids (now online) and just threw on random pieces of clothing, because that was how you dressed like as a kid. (See below for example.) You didn't necessarily care what matched or made your legs look longer, or waist look slimmer.   And apparently Mena didn't care about that either-as she chose this lovely assemble.


Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Without Photoshop?  I think she needs to pick the style she was to going for, sex or sophisticated, I don't think she could do both. If her heart was set on the top, at least go with it and wear a cute black mini skirt or even pants.  Then at least you are all in the same tones.  No idea why she felt a flowing navy skirt would suit the bill.  But it was just a mess.  And the clutch, was way too large for her petite form.  I am pretty sure she ran into a store and said, "What is on sale?"

Mena, oh Mena, I am not doing this to be mean, but this is pretty bad.  Most of the pieces themselves aren't that bad.  But I think you are too old to be wearing a bra cutout top to get attention, so BURN that just on principle.  And if you are going to try to make another shot at fame, hire a stylist.  Please, do not dress yourself anymore.  Your privileges are hereby revoked until further notice!

You forgot the Chanel Broom!

I understand "Child Stars" sometimes beat to their own drums. And the Fanning Family is no exception.  But really, stylists, how are you going to let your girl go out like this? 

Elle Fanning attended Chanel's 80th anniversary party in NYC, for its fine jewelry collection, in the label's couture black velvet dress, hat and shoes.  News flash, just because its Chanel, doesn't make it right.  And if you think you look like a witch and are not going to a Halloween party...DON'T WEAR IT!!!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Get another outfit?  I am not sure she needed to go so over the top with black velvet.  And its a jewelry event, where are the jewels?  Perhaps if she went with just the dress, she could could of modernized it up a bit with some color or amazing shoes.  Chanel is 80, not Elle.

I am guessing someone gave her this outfit to wear, because what normal 14-year-old wants to dress like her grandma.  So if I were Elle, I would BURN everything I had on and FIRE all the people that made me wear this ensemble.  Really its like old fashioned torture for me, America and Elle to see. 

A Little Color Can go a Long Way...Sometimes TOO Far!!!

I have heard of matching your shoes and your bag.  But not sure I have done the matching the shoes and lipstick angle...especially when said shoes are purple.  But that is what Amanda Seyfried did at the Mui Mui fashion week show in Paris. 

Amanda is wearing a 3 button red suit, which is a bit matronly, especially for Miu Miu show, but that's what she went with.  Styled with Prada bag and purple heels, she was ready to make a statement.  And that she did. When I originally saw the picture, I didn't really see to much wrong with it, till I scrolled down to the shoes.  She is a pale girl and while some color may be good, so much reds and purples overpower her.  I guess this is why we never saw Casper the friendly ghost wearing clothes...

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well I am not a fan of over the ankle length pants, so maybe a longer pant and more stylish suit jacket would help. Best case, get rid of the shoes with that outfit, they aren't even the right style to go with a suit. 

I think this is a case of when a shoe goes bad and good people get hurt.  The good people being you and me, who have to look at this outfit together.  Maybe she had 3 stylists and all of them picked out a piece of her outfit, without seeing the others.  I am not sure, but I know Amanda can do better.  So lets not BURN anything today, since they are PRADA shoes, but not wear as a outfit together again....and you are now a 2-time offender and officially on my watch list! (Wait- I need to start a watch list first.)

I Have NO DOUBT, This outfit is BAD!!!

Pretty sure when you enter the name Gwen Stefani, front woman for No Doubt, into your search engine, the term 'Fashion Pop Icon' will come up.  She has had a huge impact over the last twenty-some years in music and fashion.  I will not argue that, even if I don't necessarily like her style.  This outfit she wore for an appearance with the band is vintage Gwen...circa 2002.  I expected better, that's all I can say.

Gwen has two fashion lines, L.A.M.B and Harajuku Lovers.  She has been in multiple campaigns for makeup and hair ads.  So we can say, she has some experience and knows what works.  Obviously I think most would agree (aside from die-hard fans) this probably doesn't.  She is 42-years-old now with kids. She doesn't need to still be running around with her mid-drift showing like she did in her good old teenage days in California.  But like I said vintage Gwen with combat boots, parachute pants and black.  But there is just so much going on with her outfit, you miss that she is actually talented and might label her a goofball-not the businesswoman she has become.

 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Not sure this can be saved.  Maybe some high heels to make her a bit more feminine?  Wear a shirt that covers her belly?  I like her style when it is more feminine.  I saw her jump on stage at a Prince concert last summer and she looked great in a cute dress.  Much more in the direction she should be going with her clothing selections as she gets older. I already saw teenager Gwen on stage, don't need to see it forever.

Gwen, vintage or not, I would BURN the baby baby t-shirt and the pants, I guess leave the combat boots and blazer.  And maybe try a more feminine "Punk" look...I have faith, you can do it.  As an example, here is a black outfit you wore on same trip to London, that was more up to your fashion icon standards!

When Life Gives You Lemons...You DON'T Always Need to Make Emmy Dresses

Apparently the color of the 2012 Primetime Emmy's last night was yellow...yup yellow.  And a bright yellow at that, a lemon yellow if you will.  A bold choice for fall, but we are still having summer weather in California, so I say why not?  But not all the women who chose this color came off like a spring chicken.
 

From L to R: Hannah Simone, Julianne Moore, Renee Bargh, Kaley Cuoco, Julie Bowen and Claire Danes

 As anyone can clearly see, there were a couple hits and some misses, I even circled them for you.  Julianne Moore must of been sweating her little tail off in the sun yesterday with her long sleeved gown.  Very matronly...too much so for my taste.  And Claire Danes, I know she is pregnant, but doesn't she look like she is attending a BBQ or beach party, not so much a red carpet event.  However these weren't the worst of the yellow light offenders.

Leslie Mann

Leslie Mann, are you attending a circus?  Not sure if she reminds me of this because of her clown looking pants or that they look like a tent.  Either way, not a great look.  The skirt of the dress completely overwhelms the 5'7" Mann, which by Hollywood standards makes her a pretty tall actress.  Still no excuse.  I keep waiting for the clown shoes to pop out from underneath.

Hmmm, how to save the outfits?

Ok, if you are on television this is like Oscar night.  So wardrobe selections should be very important and not taken lightly.  And some of the women in this post even won, so there images will be seen for years to come.  And in People, US Weekly, Perez Hilton Blog, etc.  So this wont be so much as how to save the dress as a how to save the actress from herself and her stylist!

I think all these women are generally well dressed.  I hope Julianne doesn't go the way of Diane Keaton and start wearing pant suits for the rest of her life.  And Claire I know can do better.  We can attribute this to pregnancy and a bad idea (looking at you stylists).  And Leslie Mann, I kinda naturally vote you the quirky one of the trio.  I do think you usually do a bit better, but think that maybe you need to take a better look at who is dressing you.  All and all, I wouldn't do anything drastic, but will be watching next year...

P.S. Check out who E! picked at the worst dressed...I got 2 of the 4.  And that is only because I didn't see the last two women's dresses, yikes!!!  Worst Dressed at the Emmys

Anne, My Grandma Wants her Curtains Back!

Apparently the wardrobe requirements for the New York City Fall Ballet Gala are tuxes and long flowing dresses.  Realize this is just from looking at all the stars on the red carpet, not because I was there.  I wasn't aware it was such a fancy event.  Some of the women in attendance didn't miss a beat and pirouetted over the rest.  Anne Hathaway was not one of them.

There was just too much material, which is ironic since ballerinas run around in hardly any, pretty much leotards and tights.  But this mostly see through floral gown overwhelmed her and made her look much older than she is.  Speaking of which, I think my grandma had those curtains when I was little...

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The back is open slightly, but that is all the skin she shows.  A few options, remove sleeves, shorten dress, make the front a lower cut, etc.  But probably wouldn't be appropriate for the event.  I just don't think this was a good pick by Anne or her people.  I mean she is only 28, not 68.  And the hair doesn't help either, but nothing we can do about that.

Anne, a poor showing for the event, but I still like you.  I would like to show you how a long flowing dress can be done better.  Sarah Jessica Parker, a.k.a. Carrie Bradshaw was also in attendance.  She wore a sleeveless floral gown that was much more appealing.  And I generally don't like her outfits, so this was a pleasant surprise.  So BURN this dress and show your stylists SJP's dress as a example of what to wear.  And make sure they stick to it, or else you make need to go looking for some new peeps very soon...

And watch your turn out!  (Besides pirouette and plié, its the only other ballet term I know.)

Is that Lindsay or Amanda? Its so hard to tell...

Too easy of a target?  Eh, I will allow it.  At least she isn't driving, right America?

Amanda Bynes, former child star, turned movie star and possibly the next Lindsay Lohan was photographed getting in a blue cab on Sunset Boulevard.  Again, lets be happy she isn't driving and will not get into another fender bender this week. (Yup, cannot even just say this year.)

I would cover my head too Amanda, yikes, did you get this from Lindsay's closet.  Summer white slip dress,black leather jacket, black ankle boots and two purses?  If I am not careful, every sentence I write is going to include a question mark, her outfit is that confusing...as is her behavior.  Summer is over Amanda and so is this outfit.  Hopefully your career isn't next.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Give it back to Lindsay?  Pick a season and stick with it? In all seriousness, there are certain dresses that can definitely go from summer to fall, but white mini cotton dresses are not them.  And the boots and jacket were just a bit to harsh with the light dress.  If you are trying to slowly get into your fall wardrobe, maybe throw on a heavier cardigan first with the dress.  Its certainly not leather jacket worthy in Los Angeles right now.

I would like to note that I just saw that Lindsay was brought in last night to the police station in NYC for not knowing she hit a pedestrian and leaving the scene.  Just when we thought she pulled a page from her terrible movie 'Just My Luck' and gave all her bad luck to Amanda.  Come to think of it, has anyone seen these two together?  Maybe if they come together the world will explode.  I guess we are getting off topic...I can't blame Amanda's people for this and nothing is terrible, so lets just keep watching to see where the Amanda Bynes train wreck goes from here!