Another Day...Another Movie Premiere...Another Bad Dress

Total Recall opens in the theaters today and so the premiere photos have been plentiful.  And as much as I would like to pick on some men in suits, who am I kidding, I don't want to pick on men in suits.  I like men in suits, more men should wear them.  But the premiere performance that bombed (hopefully the movie wont) comes from the female stars of the film, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.

Left to Right: Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale

Let's start with Kate first, as she is on my list of 'Style I Admire.'  But I do not admire this dress.  Kate is pretty and has such an amazing physique that she can pull almost anything off, but even this Anaconda looking dress is too much for her.  Did she kill it and skin it on her way?  Cuz that may have made it more interesting.  As one of the few female action stars (see Underworld Trilogy) and looks badass in the trailer, I would believe it. But what I cannot believe is her hair stylist let her go out in with what I can only phrase as Medusa Snake looking hair.  She has amazing hair-I think she could of done better.
Now on to Jessica...in a light pink Dior number.  The pockets on the side seem to be a new trend, but aside from the fact that she looks like a giant cotton candy, there is nothing else to the outfit.  The jewels she is wearing don't fit with the style of the dress-shouldn't be wearing pearls?  And the shoes and matching clutch do very little to help out the look.  But the worst part is the length of the dress.  It needs to either be shorter or longer, but not mid calf.

2012 Fall Christian Dior Show Model

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

For Kate, I just don't like the dress.  It was a brave attempt, but with no other accessories and lack luster hair, there is nothing to stand against the dress.  So I wouldn't try the look again.  Maybe if it was a shorter dress-like a python mini dress?  Add some amazing heels and there is a bit of a start.  For Jessica, the length is wrong to begin with too.  As you can see in the models picture from the Dior Runway show, the length on the model is much more flattering.  And I love her Electric Blue pumps.  The model completely outshines the movie star in this one, maybe Jessica's people should take another look at this photo before attempting this again.

Kate and Jessica probably shouldn't want to recall this event outfits ever again, sorry bad joke, but I think you get the idea.  Kate you need to BURN this dress and Jessica, this makes you a repeat offender.  Time to start deciding if you want to keep your peeps or FIRE.  I personally would take a long look at the shoe choices. But I have seen you look much better recently, and if I were you,  I would expect more from the people I pay to dress me.  Just saying...

This Arrow May have Missed its Bullseye

I can appreciate that a young Hollywood rising star like Blake Lively wanted to go for a glamorous look for her newest premiere. Her next role is in the Oliver Stone film, 'Savages'. So again, grown up film, big important director requires a special outfit. And I was going to skip right by this one until I noticed something...

THE GIANT ARROW POINTING UP TO HER CROTCH!

(Pardon my crudeness)

 And now I cannot stop staring at it. Not that this isn't more the designer of the dresses fault than Blakes, but still she wore it. So she had of noticed something she liked about it. It’s a pretty dress, if not for the fact that now I keep seeing arrows everywhere. (There are more, check it out)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The shape of the dress with the mermaid tail is very pretty. And let’s face it, fits her well. But the pattern is just too distracting. If it was a solid nude or solid black color, it would have been a vast improvement. She could leave the embesselment on the chest area for a little pizzazz. And her red lipstick provides her pop of color. Worst case, cut the dress off write above the arrow, before it reaches its bullseye and rock the mini.

Blake this is a pretty dress, just a couple lines in the wrong places. So no need to BURN this dress per se, or FIRE your stylists (it’s better than some of the stuff you wear on Gossip Girl), but you are being watched. You have been WARNED!!!

Comments?

Holes are not Acceptable for Bella or K Stew

I have left Kristen Stewart alone since I realize she doesn't care if she has style or not.  And that is fine, its part of her persona.  And we are expected to accept that.  I am even pleasantly surprised when she wears something amazing...generally saved for Twilight Premieres.  However, this is just lazy.

For those of you who don't know, she is a 22-year-old actress who stars as Bella in the 'Twilight Movies', Snow White in the New Snow White movie and ...dates Robert Pattinson.  She is constantly followed and asked questions, more about her beau than her career, but all press is good press, right?

I understand the stress of the paparazzi is not the most welcoming experience, even at the Cannes Film Festival.  And so relaxing during a flight could be a nice change and most people choose comfort on a plane.   And if I haven't mentioned before (which I did) she does not care what people think of her.  She will wear what she wants, date who she wants and say what she wants.  Jeans and a v-neck tee might not get much notice from me..BUT THE HOLES IN HER SHIRT DID!!!

I looked it up, per Forbes, in the last year (May 2011-Current) she made $34 million.  Surely she could afford a shirt that the moths didn't get to.  Check it for yourself: http://www.forbes.com/profile/kristen-stewart/

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am not going to begin to try and explain Kristen Stewarts style, or lack there of in my opinion.  But I think we can all agree, a shirt with holes is not acceptable.  If this was Beyonce, J Lo or any other celebrity (male or female), they wouldn't get a free pass.  Sorry Bella!

Obviously with a shirt this destroyed, time to BURN.  And maybe hire a stylist or two or nine, to take you shopping.  I would send you a few dollars for some v-necks (I liked J Crews) but you make WAY more than me.  Put in some effort woman...you can do it.  No one will think worse of you at all, you might even gain some more fans. 

Comments?

Scarlett Johansson's not the Devil in Prada

With the movie Avengers coming out soon as one of the "Summer Blockbusters" I am expecting to see more than the average amount of movie premieres.  And we know what that means, more movie premiere outfits. The mostly male cast was all suited up at the last event, so they seemed to fly by unharmed (you know because Iron Man can fly), but Scarlett Johansson was not so lucky. 

At the London premiere, she wore a peplum dress, which has become especially trendy in 2012.  For those of you out there that don't know, per Wikipedia:

Peplum originates in the Greek word for 'tunic' and may refer to one of the following:

• A genre of Italian films also known as 'Sword and Sandal'
• Peplos, a kind of women's garment in ancient Greece
• Veil
• Short overskirt that is usually attached to a fitted jacket, blouse or dress

And although this peplum is a little more subdued than some of the others I have seen thus far on the red carpet, the patterns on Scarlett's dress make up for it.  I know mixing patterns is okay and in many cases required.  But one pattern has to blend into what we call a neutral.  Without it, it kinda of looks like this mish-mash of a dress you see above.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

If the patterns attempting to mix weren't enough, she went ahead and added the also severely popular braided updo, adding yet a 3rd pattern.  And while I can appreciate her trying to tie her red heels into her outfit, they blend into the red carpet so much, she seems to missing her feet!  Change the shoes, step 1.  Step 2, I would of gone without the red (flowers?) on top...but designers can be designers. 

Scarlett, while your style has improved as you have gotten older and more famous, this was a huge miss.  And while it doesn't deter me from wanted to go see the movie, it makes me want to check out your wardrobe less.  So its too soon to say whether you need to FIRE your stylists, but you should certainly BURN this dress.  Sorry Prada, but even the devil wouldn't wear you!!!

Brooklyn wont SINK the Battleship...Yet!

I am personally very excited to see the movie 'Battleship' due out May 18th. (Hello Taylor Kitsch)  And the publicity tour seems to have set sail pretty furiously, as I keep seeing all the stars out on the red carpet.  And while most of model Brooklyn Deckers (I know she is an "Actress" now) outfits have been very good, we have a small miss here at the Sidney Australia premiere.

Brooklyn Decker in J Mendel

The tuxedo inspired J Mendel dress is actually very nice, if you pretend not to see the gold sleeves.  You remember when you were a kid and your friend would put their hands behind their backs and you use your arms to converse for them.  You would do all kinds of funny things, while they are trying to hold a conversation.  Anyways, it looks like she has her arms behind her back and its someone else arms standing in for her.  Am I wrong?  The sleeves just don't go with the dress.  And I cannot see any shoes, so sadly I cannot comment on those. At first glance, I thought she threw on a gold jacket, but then I realized, nope that was done on purpose. 

LeAnn Rimes & Nicole Kidman

And while I was looking for a picture of this dress, I found something even MORE amazing.  A few posts back I commented on a dress LeAnn Rimes wore to the Academy of Country Music Awards.  A dress similar to one Nicole Kidman had already worn.  Here is reminder to the right.  Well seems like Brooklyn Deckers stylists were a fan as well, only she wore it in black.  This Stella McCartney dress didn't get too much love from me a few weeks ago, but I think it is a little bit better on the model-turned-actress, than the country singer-turned actress. The cutouts are a bit different and its not a one shoulder dress, but I still think we could do without!

(On Right) Brooklyn Decker in
Stella McCartney

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Since I already discussed the Stella dress, we will leave that one alone.  As for the J Mendel dress, lets rip off the sleeves and then there should be a vast improvement.

Overall, its not a terrible ding in the 'Battleship' armor for Brooklyn.  We are all allowed a few bad clothing choices (I just cleaned out my closest-I can attest to that.)  So no need to BURN the dress, just the sleeves...might be pretty.  And the stylists, from as far as I can tell, have done right by you, so need to FIRE.

But what do you guys think?  Lots of dresses, so little time to critique!

(To read the original post on LeAnn Rimes and Nicole Kidmans dresses, follow this link: http://toburnorfire-fashion.blogspot.com/2012/04/some-people-should-stay-away-from.html

Hunger Games Premiere-Comes off just a little short

I really wanted to post something in regards to the 'Hunger Games' premieres, surely there must be a outfit disaster somewhere.  But more or less, its been pretty respectable as Red Carpets events go.  And with premieres all over the world, every other day it seems, makes for a lot of wardrobe changes.  The star of the movie, Jennifer Lawrence (I had to IMDB her too) has done a nice job so far.  She is a 22-year old, on the rise to probably more fame than she ever imaged in this tween sensation flick and has already nominated for an Oscar.  But, alas in NYC she hit a snag...

There is just something about this dress that bothers me.  The color is pretty, but I hate the black shoes, the belt draws attention to a awkward place and the cut of the dress just seems off.  And with the lack of jewelry and accessories, its kind of just blah to me.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The low cut front would be much better on a longer dress.  I think with the current design, it makes Jennifer look shorter and compact.  So if you make the dress skirt portion floor length, it stretches the whole look out.  Remove the belt and add a sparkly necklace and all would be better.  Its actually super surprising to me, since most of her other premiere outfits have been floor length gowns.  And New York is a place where fashion excels and is expected, so its disappointing.  If the dress it to remain short, only suggestion is to still remove the belt and maybe throw on a tan shoe, to elongate the legs and a great clutch bag.

Let's be honest, the dress choice was a easy mistake.  And although I do not think Jennifer needs to BURN the dress or FIRE her stylists (who are obviously on staff for a media blitz like this), I would return the dress back to the designer with my notes.  It could of been worse and I am sure we will see some mistakes in the future, but you are young Jennifer and I will forgive you...once!

But I know how I feel-What do you think about the dress and over-all look?  Comment below.

Broken Mirror Mirror, But no 7 Years of Bad Luck

There are two Snow White remakes coming out this year and hopefully the movies are better than this premiere outfit for Lily Collins.  The 'Mirror Mirror' premiere happened this last weekend in Hollywood and although this may not be the most obvious choice to comment on, I have seen this trend a lot in the last couple weeks...dresses that are far too big for its celebrity wearer. This reminds me of a young girls playing dress up in their moms party dresses.

As you can see, the skirt of the dress is extremely too "Poofy" for Lily.  Per IMDB, she is 5'5" and someone substantially taller is probably a better choice to pull off the dress.  The pattern itself is pretty and even the bodice fits nicely.  But the bottom half simple over-whelms her. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am thinking if the bottom portion was a bit shorter it would still be too much.  Perhaps remove some of the underneath fluff and shorten and it could improve it a bit.  And maybe add a bulky necklace or earrings to offset the her lower half?  At least something to attract the eyes away from the bottom.

Far Right: Lucy Hale

As I mentioned, this is a fad I have noticed over the last week.  After watching 'Pretty Little Liars' this week, one of the dresses stood out to me the same way.  The actress wearing the dress, Lucy Hail, is only 5'2".  And although I love the pattern of the dress, you will notice she is swallowed up by it as well (picture to the right.)

Although I am a fan of glamorous red carpets and I can appreciate what Lily was trying to do, I don't think her main objective was to be overshadowed by her dress.  Lily is still young, still figuring out her fashion sense.  And no, this dress isn't by far the worst thing I have seen...even today.  But its a trend I am not a fan of.  So while we don't need to BURN the dress, (maybe give it to someone taller-i.e. me) or FIRE the stylists, I would like stylists and wardrobe departments to take notice.  I do not support this fad and please stop it!!!

But what do you think?  Comment below...

Green Beer Goggles Required...

Happy Belated St. Patricks Day!!!

After a night of celebrating with corned beef, green beer and shamrock shakes I felt like searching for the elusive perfect little green dress.  And you want to know why women don't make them a staple in their closets, because they don't exist. So grab a beer, some green dye and lets discuss...



(From Left to Right: Amanda Seyfried, Victoria Beckham, Isla Fisher & Britney Spears)



Don't get me wrong, there were some pretty dresses, but these xamples are down right awful.  Starting from the left side, Amanda Seyfriends dress looks like something from the junior department of a low budget department store.  I think part of the issue is due to wind or static cling, but the fit around the chest is terrible, it looks like she didn't fill it out.  Victoria Beckham is next and I believe this is actually from her own line-it reminds me of the Jolly Green Giant outfit (see below),  besides having no shape to it at all.  I am pretty sure if she was single, she could just write her number on her dress, rip a piece off and hand it out!  Isla Fisher, where is the top of your dress?  You clearly look uncomfortable in it and I am pretty sure you got it at the same store as Amanda.  And Britney, I know you have been through a lot, but I cannot let you off.  This reminds me of a sample dress used by designers, scraps of a couple dresses used to create the shape.   

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Lets face it, all these woman have had enough success in their life to be able to afford better cuts, designs and fits.  None  of the dresses can be saved and who really wants to.  This is why we have Little Black Dresses or LBS's in our closests.

Ladies, BURN all of these dresses as soon as you can.  Victoria, if this dress is in fact from your line, FIRE your designers-there is no excuse.  Amanda, Isla and Britney I am pretty sure you didn't use a stylist for these events, but maybe you should consult some proffessionals.  I am sure they will tell you to stay away from the junior department sale racks too!!!

Comments?  Questions? Let me know below...

I Am Not Blue Over This Outfit (not even a little)

I am just gonna say it, Alan Cummings scares me.  He plays all these weird little creepy characters in movies.  You may not know his name, but you have no doubt seen him in movies  However after seeing him in this blue plaid suit, he now terrifies me!

I can only hope this is some sort of joke, but apparently it wasn't.  He wore this to the Emmy "Artistic" awards-is this what we are calling this suit...Artistic? 

Before you ask, he actually is a voice for a smurf in the upcoming film, but that doesn't make this okay.  And really tapered pants?  They verge on skinny pants that some of the young kids are wearing today.  I am all for a 3-piece suit...but I am gonna have to jump ship on this look.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well take away the pants and jacket and replace with a classic black tux or suit, you may be able to get away with the vest.  Those shoes have got to go as well.  Way to chunky for the suit. 

Not much left to say, I am pretty sure a stylist picked this out, or at least let him walk the red carpet looking this way, thinking this was funny and a way to make some sort of statement.  Well it did and now I am making one...YUCK YUCK YUCK-FIRE FIRE FIRE!!!

Just say NO!!!

Bad...

Drew Barrymore is known for many things in Hollywood...A new director, her roles in 'ET', 'Firestarter' and several others and of course her adolescent drug use. I am not sure fashion trends is something she represents well.

So originally I was going to post this picture of this tan dress that Drew wore on a red carpet recently. Although its not the worst thing I have ever seen, it doesn't fit her body type very well (or anyones) and just doesn't sit well with me. And the potato sack color does not have me screaming its praises. 

But after seeing what she wore this weekend, I know longer think her sack is so bad. I feel like a crow fell on her head and died, because this vest, I guess we call it, is   U-G-L-Y!!! Perhaps she is starring in the next installment of the Crow Films, they have made four so far, what's another one?

Worse

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well I do not think there is anything that can be done to help our fallen friend...the bird.  And a baby tee-really.  Its 2010, I didn't think people still wore those.

All and all, this is just a terrible terrible terrible look.  And her strangely hair doesn't help at all.  I gotta think she has a stylist that helps her for events, especially since she has a "hippie" type style. 

Simple solution BURN this vest or cover up, which actually makes me miss ponchos and hire a new stylist.  Drew if your stylist picked this for you or the brown bag above...you need to FIRE them faster than you were killed off in the original Scream film...and that was about 5 minutes into the movie!!!

Not a Hi-Lite Rebecca

X-Men

Ugly Betty

Friends

As Supermodel Actresses go, Rebecca Romijn isn't the worst.  She has been casted in some good films and TV shows, as listed above and isn't terribly annoying.  But this dress kinda is.

Lets forget she wore this to the Piranha 3D premiere (or should I say lets forget they made this movie period) and focus on the dress itself.  Wonder if the dress was white and she decided to color it in with a yellow highlighter?  I guess it does match the lettering for the movie poster, score one for her?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well maybe if it was a different color, she could dye it black, you can cover up anything if you make it dark enough.  And I am not a fan of the earrings, doesn't really go with the style of dress.  The shoes bother me too, but its not the nail in the coffin...the dress is.

As a supermodel (as mentioned in the Heidi Klum post) I expect more.  And although this is not the worst dress I have seen, its not the best for her.  She may have had a stylist pick this for her, you know, "I need something real quick for my hubbies (Jerry O'Connell) movie premiere-send me over some things."  So it is partly a stylist and her fault, but going by this outfit alone...Rebecca its okay to FIRE!

I See London, I See France...I See Someone's Underpants

You date one of the biggest pop superstars ever, Justin Timberlake...You star in several action movies and get to make out with Bradley Cooper...And your career is apparently thriving.  One might say you have it all, right?  Well Jessica Biel, you don't have one thing, NUDE UNDERWEAR!!!!

At first glance, this red dress looks pretty, flattering and a nice color for her.  And then when you take that second look, note her black underwear.  Yup the skirt of the dress is pretty sheer but c'mon, you're not even trying.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt.  I am sure someone had you throw on the dress after hair and makeup and run out of the door.  So you probably didn't have a chance to look in the mirror.  (Note to self:  Always check the mirror before leaving the house.)  But what is your excuse for this suit number?  It looks like you borrowed it from Diane Keaton, but she wouldn't even wear this.  How do you expect to keep Justin in this awful suit? That is a bad color, no shape, too short and those shoes are way too old for you. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

For the red dress, pretty easy and I will say it again...NUDE UNDERWEAR!!!  As for the suit, the jacket needs to be more fitted, the pants longer, lose the shoes for a younger version and the shirt is just boring. 

I do believe with all the promoting for A-Team Jessica is doing, a stylist may not of gone to Berlin for the functions, but she definitely sat down with someone to pick the outfits out.  And generally I think she does okay fashion-wise, so I will let the stylist keep the job.  But for the suit....I don't think I really need to say it, but I will BURN BURN BURN BURN!!!

Step Away from the Kiddie Department

When someone is nominated for a Oscar certain things are assumed:
1.  The person actually has talent
2.  Probably making some good money on at least the next movie they snag (you know in case it was an indie)
3.  Hired a Stylist to walk the Red Carpet

And if same said person, is also in one of the most popular Movie Franchises going on right now, they would need to have someone on staff to help for all the premieres and occasions.  Well Anna Kendrick, I guess you are a prime example of why someone shouldn't assume.  Because you are TOTALLY making an ASS out of U and ME!!!

For those of you who don't know, Anna was nominated for the Oscar as Supporting Actress in 'Up in the Air' with Clooney and is in those little Twilight movies.  So she is basically everywhere.  And it upsets me when I see her at a movie premiere dressed like this. Certainly one would assume she could afford to get a stylist or at least afford a full size adult dress.  But there I go assuming again.

Hmmm, how to save the dress?

First off those shoes have to go far far far away from this dress.  I am all for a yellow shoe, but this is not only the wrong shoe, but wrong color for this navy dress. The mini dress is not flattering and for too short, for even her.  It almost looks like a trash back with blue spray paint wrapped around her.

I would say to Anna, you have several issues.  If your stylist told you to wear this combo, FIRE him or her immediately.  There is no way to save the dress, so take it outside and BURN!!!

Boys Gone Bad

Thought it was a good time to pick on some boys and since I learned how to post multiple pictures on one blog, its all fair in Love and...fashion? 

Michael Cera

All these guys were at the same Movie Premiere this week, about a guy who beats up his new girlfriends Ex-boyfriends, or defends her honor...or something like that.  I know, rushing right off to stand in line for opening night with you.  But just because it sounds like a lame movie, doesn't mean you can take the premiere lightly.  If the movie sucks, I will most likely remember your outfit more than the crap movie you made. 

1.  Michael Cera (star of the movie)... This is too easy.  First off, I looked it up, your 5'10" no way your pants should ever be that short.  And if they are, don't keep your hands in your pockets.  I would never be caught dead in pants like that.  And who wears a suit, which is probably okay for his laid back style, with casual penny loafers?  Or I guess you might call them boat shoes.  Regardless, this is bad.  But at least you wore a suit.

Judd Apatow & Jack Black

2. Judd Apatow and Jack Black...Let's face it, both of these guys are loaded.  Jude Apatow has made tons of crude movies, such as 40-Year Old Virgin, SuperBad and Knocked up.  And Jack Black has starred in several Crude Movies and a couple good ones, School of Rock, The Holiday, Airborne (classic 80's Movie) and Kung Fu Panda.  But both of these grown men, who I can only assume came to support friend Cera, couldn't dress up a little more than this.  Black looks like he just went to the gym, which hello based on his body, we can see he did not.  And Apatow, well think he may always dress this way.  At least iron your shirt dude~

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

My help to Michael Cera would be remove your hem in the bottom of your pants to lengthen and change those shoes.  Heck I might even accept a tennis shoe as opposed to this brown one.  As for the other two...

Look its pretty obvious no stylists were consulted for any of these guys.  Not sure if any of them have one, doubt it, which should be step number 1.  As for the outfits, to save time and effort, because they need to conserve as much as possible, BURN everything!

High School Flashback

When I was in high school, everyone I knew had a crush on Jordan Catalano from the TV show 'My So Called Life.'  And Angela, the red headed main character on the show, was in love with him.  And you watched it week after week to see when Angela and Jordan finally would, as we put it, "Hook Up".  Claire Danes hit the Hollywood map and we now know Jordan as Jared Leto, (although not as cute as he used to be) the rocker and sometimes actor.

The thing I really remember most about that show,which so wasn't the main point, was Claires bright red hair and how pale it made her look.  I mean it was a strange contrast and if I remember correctly, the whole dying of the hair and pasty white skin did come up in the dialogue sometime in the year it was on TV.  But this dress flashes me back there instantly. 

The dress shape isn't terrible, the cute could be kind of cute.  But the colors are all wrong for her skin type.  Because as we can all see, Claire is not getting any tanner.  If you squint really hard at the picture, it all blends...never a good thing.  And I blew the picture up more, when it was tiny, she looked almost completely nude.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

First thing I would do is remove the entire left sleeve.  What is that?  Did the designer have some left over fabric?  And I guess we cannot really change the color of the dress, maybe add some jewelry?  Maybe a little pop of color in the shoe? 

Basically the dress isn't ugly, its just not right for Claire.  But, while the stylist should of known better, the dress should be saved...and I guess so can the stylist.  We will call this one a draw, so no need to BURN or FIRE. 

Maybe we could dye it red to match her old hair color?  Ahh, flashback.