Hoping the Movie is Better than the Premiere Outfits for Dark Knight Rises

Dark Knight Rises will definitely be one of 2012's biggest films.  It probably wont be as record breaking as the last one, which was more about Heath Ledgers death and performance than Batman.  But I am expecting big things and cannot wait to see it.  Originally I was going to post a picture of one actresses outfit from the Monday "Knight" premiere in New York, until I saw more outfits...


Michelle Trachtenberg

Lets start with my original post victim, Michelle Trachtenberg.  There was nothing to this outfit.  The embellishment low cut front looks more like leopard print than sparkle.  And could she of picked a more boring nude shoe?  I also read she had stockings on. Really?  Its plain Blah.


Juno Temple

Next Up, Juno Temple.  I had to look her up, as I had no idea who she was.  She is an English Actress brought in to play Holly Robinson in the movie.  Perhaps she should of stayed home.  The dress could be cute if she had the right body shape to fill it out.  But as it is, its completely shapes and extremely boring with the matching black shoes.  She also felt no need to add a pop of color to the black potato sack looking dress.


Hailee Steinfeld

And finally Hailee Steinfeld, another actress, who wore another terrible outfit.  We can talk about how her dress length is way too long.  Or how her sandals do not go with the dress or event at all.  Or question whether she ripped off her mom's table cloth on the way to the premiere

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am going to make a serious effort to fix these if I can.  Lets see...Michelle could make a better showing with getting rid of those shoes and adding a different color.  Heck, even black would be better.  And maybe a bigger statement bracelet pulling out some of the embezzlement from the dress.  For Juno, she also needs accessories to go with the plain jane dress.  I would try and see if I could get it a bit more form fitting to try and show of any possible curves.  The shoes need to go as well, also needs a fun shoe.  She is young, she can pull it off.  As for Hailee, cut the dress to her thigh, immediately.  Again, needs a different show, maybe something with the pink in the dress or even silver.  And the bag should go with the shoe, something smaller.  Its kinda of "Old Lady" to me, but then again, she is wearing a table cloth looking dress.

It was pretty evident when looking at the premiere pictures, the "Movie Star" females just did it better and these young stars need a lot of work.  I am guessing most of them didn't have help in picking out their outfits. So step 1, find stylists.  Step 2, they need to get the Batman special effects team to blow something up and throw everything into the FIRE and start all over.  Go home and think about what you have done...and do not do it again.  Really ladies, poor poor showing.  Next time, you might as well borrow Bruce Wayne's Bat Suit, that would of looked better than your outfits.

Anthony Davis's Date to the Espys...A Uni!!!

So as I don't really follow men's college basketball or NBA basketball for that matter, I was a bit slow on the uptake on Anthony Davis and his special friend.  No, not that one-keep your mind out of the gutter.  However at last nights ESPY Awards in Los Angeles, I was educated on it. 

For those who don't know, Davis is a 6'10" basketball player, went to Kentucky for his freshman year and then decided to go pro.  And was drafted #1 by New Orleans Hornets. So it is natural he would be at the awards show and in a suit, which I can appreciate.  However what I didn't appreciate it was his Uni-Brow...

I complained about the beards and am now even more concerned that 2012 will be the year of the Uni.  I know its a little hard to see in the picture of his outfit, so I have included a close up just so you can all get a proper visual. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The outfit is fine, its the caterpillar on his forehead I am concerned about.  He was a good sport about the jokes last night, but you would think it might encourage him to rectify the situation.  As a girl who gets her eyebrows plucked, its relatively painless.  And if he is embarrassed to go in to a salon, I mean he is a big guy, he would certainly make a scene.  Here is a link to amazon for a pair of tweezers, they deliver...and start plucking.  I am even sure someone could come to your house to wax them to? 

http://www.amazon.com/Tweezerman-Slant-Tweezer-Classic-Stainless/dp/B000WI1VN0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1342112648&sr=8-3&keywords=tweezers

Lets face it Anthony, you are going to be a rich kid, I think its time to grow up and fix your facial issues.  Do not BURN them off, that would be bad.  And I wouldn't FIRE anyone...yet.  Perhaps you might want to surround yourself with some better friends.  Because a good friend would of told you to fix the uni way before now!!!

And because I thought it was funny, here is the ESPY's Opening jokes...about 6 minutes in is the Anthony Davis portion:

When Popstars "Tighten" things Up...

This is a case of when good clothes go wrong...Britney Spears (do I really need to add the "Spears" part) was going to X Factor auditions in a 'LBD.'  We women all know we need Little Black Dresses and when scanning through pictures of celebs, one might of assumed this one would be okay.  But you know what happens when you ASS-U-ME...

The dress is way Way WAY too tight.  When clothing starts rolling over itself, it means it doesn't fit correctly.  You can clearly see the bottom half of her dress especially, is riding up and rolling in places it shouldn't.  And the top seems to almost be cutting of circulation in her arms.  I am not sure if her look of discomfort is from the outfit or the screaming people around her...both have some issues.

And while we are on the topic of too tight, Nick Jonas, is that something in your pocket, or are you just happy to see a cab?
I think your jeans are tighter than Britney's dress and that is not good.  And the white shoes?  Well good thing your cute.  All you need is a fanny pack to complete the look, or is that what you are holding? Or is it your man bag? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well for Britney, I would first attempt to get a bigger size or at least try and let it out.  She seems to be in good shape, just maybe the wrong cut for her.  She has child bearing hips now, so maybe something with more of a A-line cut.  As for Nick, well wear bigger jeans.  It is okay to leave some things to the imagination.

Britney, this is a step in the right direction from your shoe less feet in a gas station bathroom and shaving your own head days. So no need to FIRE anyone, but just a bad choice, maybe donate dress to your sister?  Nick, BURN those white shoes and man bag immediately.  And you too can donate your jeans...maybe to the same girl who takes Britneys dress.

Political Statement or Bad Fashion... just Because?

I was originally going to do a ode to the 'Worst Celebrity 4th of July Outfits Ever' and then I saw this picture...

Obviously it is taken in Malibu, CA, as per the tshirt.  And if you are wondering who that is, it is Jared Leto. At first I thought it was just a random guy walking down the beach in a bad outfit, trying to make some sort of  statement.  Then I realized nope, famous person.  Jared is what we might call a "Strange Bird" and I should probably  just leave alone.  But if this was a girl, I would rip on her for her bad fashion taste, so all is fair in Jared and Fashion.

For those of you who don't know Jared Leto is a good looking guy (picture on the left), who is not only a actor, but lead singer for the rock band 30 Seconds to Mars.  But in the picture above he is choosing to ignore his good looks and take pictures of the sand (?).  In a long sleeve shirt, skinny jeans, boots (which living in Southern California, I know work AWESOME on the beach) and a gaucho hat.  In my opinion the only thing that fits for beach attire are his sunglasses.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit? 

First off, boots on the beach?  Jared has lived in California for years and I know he owns flip flips.  I have seen him in them.  It was a little cloudy at the beach I am sure, so layers were probably needed, but not sure those were the correct items.  And the hat?  I understand you don't want to get burned, but isn't that what sunscreen is for? 

Jared Jared Jared...your style team is not to be blamed for this.  I doubt they dressed you for the 4th of July fireworks.  So the blame falls on you.  I know you have a certain image to uphold, but can't you do it and still look cute at the same time?  BURN it all, shave the beard and trim the hair.  And for gosh sakes, why are you taking pictures of the sand???

Dude, Where's the rest of my Shirt?

I imagine I am going to get some heat for this one, but its has been bothering me for a while.  I am not sure Miley Cyrus realizes she isn't getting her full shirt length, when she goes shopping.  She always seems to be missing the section that covers her mid-drift.  I get it, your thin and workout.  You better when you are engaged to a little hottie like Liam Hemsworth, but enough is enough.

To give you an example of what I am talking about, I simply went to google images and entered 'Miley Cyrus-June 2012' to get a sample of outfits.  And here is what I was gifted with:

So apparently in June, in Los Angeles, we should be wearing calf-high black motorcycle boots (2012's equivalent to Uggs and short jeans skirts?), short shorts, fish net stockings and flannel shirts.  Yes it is an interesting spectrum of outfits, certainly not something you would expect from someone worth $100 million and a franchise worth a billion. 

Makes me wonder, I go into a lot of stores, does she shop in the little girls department or does she do her own clothing designing?  Forbes does list her as a "designer" so go figure.  With someone who has been around as long as her in the public eye, as popular as she is, you would hope a little effort could be made. And now a public engagement with another popular celeb, old enough to get married, old enough to dress properly.  And I would like it noted, no she is NOT going to the gym...that is a whole other set of wardrobe issues.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Really?  Lets just end this saying a picture says a thousand words.  And here are five pictures you do the math.  BURN, the fishnets with holes in them, all the tops, the polka-dot onesie and buy some big girl tops Miley...you can do it!!!

BET Awards should of been named the BAD Awards

Last night was the 2012 BET Awards.  And I will admit, not really my music scene, nor do I watch the Television Network so I was in the dark who a lot of these people were.  So I am a bit out of my comfort zone, but here goes.  I of course knew the familiar faces like Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, etc.  But it was a awards show so I am paying it is proper dues.  And oh my, were the clothes bad.  Here is a range of examples of the atrocities I had to look at.  It was so bad, I HAD to stop looking for more pictures. 


T to B: Beyonce, Kerry
Washington and Laurieann Gibson

Shall we start with Pop Superstar and richer than God, Beyonce?  Here is her lime green gown and a picture what the designer intended it to look like.  Did she think she was going to a Toga Party?  And I am sure she knows her tiara is supposed to be on your head...not around your waste. 

Then we have Kerry Washington, not a musician, but an actress.  I don't want to talk mean about retail chains like Forever 21, but this is typically what I see in those types of stores...cheap basics.  Certainly she could of done better, no effort was put into this nude tube top and black skirt outfit slection.  When I first saw the picture, I thought we had a wardrobe malfunction.

And then Laurieann Gibson is she late for her booking at the Los Angeles County jail?  And should one pant leg really be higher than the other?  But I think that is the least of what should be her worries.

Hmmm, how do I save the outfit?

Let's put it this way, these weren't even performance outfits and those were worse. For Beyonce, I would of stuck with the designers idea.  I don't like it bunched around her right leg, it actually makes her look shorter, even with almost her full left showing.  A belt of some sort was needed to synch the waist, not sure that one was it.  For Kerry, she needs some color, stat.  If your gonna go with a simple black polyester skirt, you need to throw on something more eye catching on the top.  And the nude belt that blends into the blah looking top, is not it.  And Laurieann...Oh Laurieann.

Beyonce, you are a two-time offender.  Once for your casual attire and now for your red carpet gown.  Simply put, I still expect better.  Kerry, this is just boring.  I know your not a performer and it wasn't necessarily your night.  But you put effort in to getting dressed to go, take the next step. If you hired stylists for this, you should FIRE.  If they can mess up a presenters outfit, wait until you need them for something more important.  And Laurieann...oh poor Laurieann.  Stick with Choreography and BURN this jumpsuit IMMEDIATELY!!!

This Arrow May have Missed its Bullseye

I can appreciate that a young Hollywood rising star like Blake Lively wanted to go for a glamorous look for her newest premiere. Her next role is in the Oliver Stone film, 'Savages'. So again, grown up film, big important director requires a special outfit. And I was going to skip right by this one until I noticed something...

THE GIANT ARROW POINTING UP TO HER CROTCH!

(Pardon my crudeness)

 And now I cannot stop staring at it. Not that this isn't more the designer of the dresses fault than Blakes, but still she wore it. So she had of noticed something she liked about it. It’s a pretty dress, if not for the fact that now I keep seeing arrows everywhere. (There are more, check it out)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The shape of the dress with the mermaid tail is very pretty. And let’s face it, fits her well. But the pattern is just too distracting. If it was a solid nude or solid black color, it would have been a vast improvement. She could leave the embesselment on the chest area for a little pizzazz. And her red lipstick provides her pop of color. Worst case, cut the dress off write above the arrow, before it reaches its bullseye and rock the mini.

Blake this is a pretty dress, just a couple lines in the wrong places. So no need to BURN this dress per se, or FIRE your stylists (it’s better than some of the stuff you wear on Gossip Girl), but you are being watched. You have been WARNED!!!

Comments?

Daytime Emmy's...NO LONGER Fit for Television

Apparently the networks who air soaps, talk shows, etc didn't think their Emmy Awards rated.  So it was moved to HLN, yup the news network.  Realizing the lack of importance and having other things to do, I decided to miss this one. And I don't watch Soaps anymore and yes apparently some people do.  But thanks to some trusted informants (you know who you are), I was told to check out this fantastic outfit...

Apparently Rachael Ray won a Emmy, but not for this dress.  The chest area, which would not be flattering on anyone...at all...ever, demands attention.  Don't worry, I have included a close-up.  It reminds be of those 6-pack tshirts.  Except it is about a foot in the wrong direction.  Complete with cutoff sleeves. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Throw a black garbage bag over it?  Too Rough?  The bottom half of the dress is probably okay, but with the lights and shape of the top, no one would even notice.  And the neckline all the way up, doesn't help.  It looks like a childs super hero costume.  I think she was going for sexy low cut dress.  But if your gonna go for it, go all the way.  There is way to much fabric to pull of this look.  Either use less dress, or cover up the mesh center.

To prove my point I have added a lovely picture of Jack Black in a 6-pack ab tshirt.  Similar right? 

Okay, to Rachel Ray you should BURN this dress and seriously consult your stylists.  I know you have them.  And threaten to FIRE if this happens again.  To quote the Hulk, "You Won't Like Me When I am Angry."

Back to Bitching...about BEARDS

Sorry for my lack of posting, I have been on what we working folk call a  "VACATION."  But I am back and ready to comment on fashion, celebrity style or for some people the lack-there-of.  While on vacation, I rested, read and actually watched quite a bit of sports.  And during this period, I noticed one thing that I was not too happy about.  Professional Athletes...and their ugly hairy beards.

I understand in the NHL you have beard-a-thons to raise money for charity during the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  And once the teams are knocked out, the beards get shaved.  (Thank Goodness).  I can live with that, plus the money goes to charity.  But there are certain athletes who wear beards year round.  And I assume they think it looks good?  And are becoming famous for it...

Player number 1: Brian Wilson, San Francisco Giants

Player Number 2: James Harden, Oklahoma City Thunder

Now men, I am going to go on a limb for women and say, we are not so much a fan.  I looked it up, although they are about 8-9 years apart in age, neither are married.  Could it have something to do with the beard?  Makes me wonder, what are they hiding under there? And how sanitary can it be? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

S-H-A-V-E

There is no need to FIRE anyone or BURN any clothes, and burning hair smells bad.  Let me put it in a way you can understand me...How would like to look at this?

Enough said...Comments?

MTV Awards-Disappointing and Fashionably Hard to WATCH

I love Love LOVE movies and I used to really look forward to the MTV Movie Awards.  I admit, I am not an Oscar nominated film fan, generally the movies I love are more of the Razzie nominated types.  So MTV awards were always a chance to see my favorite movies win some type of award, you know like...best kiss or for example.  (Shout out to Ryan and Rachel in the Notebook.)

But this year I not only found myself disappointed with the show, but also with the fashion. I haven't seen Hunger Games, so I felt really old watching it.  And not even the movies biggest stars were present.  With the exception of a few, its lacked its usual star power.  And host Russell Brands jokes left more crickets than giggles. Him shouting "Twilight" and "Hunger Games" after every bad joke grew tiresome.  (And I am pretty sure he did that last year too.)  Relative to fashion, it would be easier to say who looked good, than who looked bad.  So without further delay, here are my picks for worst dressed:

From Left to Right: Elizabeth Banks, Julianne Hough, Brooke Hogan, Emma Watson and Russell Brand

Starting from the left, I think Elizabeth Banks is angry she wasn't cast as Catwoman in the newest Batman or maybe trying out for a Spiderman villain.  And I thought Julianne Hough's was bad, until I saw Brooke Hogans.  Are they trying out to be a female tag team in the WWE?  And Emma Watson, tennis anyone?  Looks like something I have seen the Williams sisters wear during a match.  And Russell Brand...a fur belt?  Really??

Center: Kristen Stewart

And Kristen Stewart, you walk the entire red carpet in high heels, but you win the award for best movie and you jump onstage in your Chucks?  Worn and dirty ones at that. You were sitting most of the show, your feet were that tired?

Hmmm, how to save the outfits?

I am willing to give most of them the benefit of the doubt on these outfits.  As they wanted to all seem young and hip, maybe going a bit over the top.  And then others are just strange (that would be you Russell.)  How to save?  They all had okay shoes? 

I would say most of these outfits should BURN, leave the shoes.  Kristen can throw her shoes in with the burning clothes, buy a new pair girlfriend.  And I am pretty sure Russell doesn't have a stylists, but the others should threaten theirs.  They don't need to FIRE today, but again, they should be warned.

Comments? Twilight? Hunger Games?