Boys Gone Bad

Thought it was a good time to pick on some boys and since I learned how to post multiple pictures on one blog, its all fair in Love and...fashion? 

Michael Cera

All these guys were at the same Movie Premiere this week, about a guy who beats up his new girlfriends Ex-boyfriends, or defends her honor...or something like that.  I know, rushing right off to stand in line for opening night with you.  But just because it sounds like a lame movie, doesn't mean you can take the premiere lightly.  If the movie sucks, I will most likely remember your outfit more than the crap movie you made. 

1.  Michael Cera (star of the movie)... This is too easy.  First off, I looked it up, your 5'10" no way your pants should ever be that short.  And if they are, don't keep your hands in your pockets.  I would never be caught dead in pants like that.  And who wears a suit, which is probably okay for his laid back style, with casual penny loafers?  Or I guess you might call them boat shoes.  Regardless, this is bad.  But at least you wore a suit.

Judd Apatow & Jack Black

2. Judd Apatow and Jack Black...Let's face it, both of these guys are loaded.  Jude Apatow has made tons of crude movies, such as 40-Year Old Virgin, SuperBad and Knocked up.  And Jack Black has starred in several Crude Movies and a couple good ones, School of Rock, The Holiday, Airborne (classic 80's Movie) and Kung Fu Panda.  But both of these grown men, who I can only assume came to support friend Cera, couldn't dress up a little more than this.  Black looks like he just went to the gym, which hello based on his body, we can see he did not.  And Apatow, well think he may always dress this way.  At least iron your shirt dude~

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

My help to Michael Cera would be remove your hem in the bottom of your pants to lengthen and change those shoes.  Heck I might even accept a tennis shoe as opposed to this brown one.  As for the other two...

Look its pretty obvious no stylists were consulted for any of these guys.  Not sure if any of them have one, doubt it, which should be step number 1.  As for the outfits, to save time and effort, because they need to conserve as much as possible, BURN everything!

Throw her Overboard...Please!!!

All I can think is, I hope Tommy Hilfiger paid you well for wearing this outfit, cuz I don't know who else would of designed this dress, its his colors! And are you planning on going sailing today? 

Katie Holmes, I know your daughter is supposed to be the fashionable one, but I gotta think you help dress her.  And maybe she might look cuter in this outfit than you.  However, even more tragic are those shoes.  I understand that when you are married to a older man (for those of you living in a cave, its Tom Cruise) you need to dress more mature, but the older ladies that I used to work with at Talbots wore these kinds of shoes.  Not a girl in her early thirties.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The dress could be cute, if you changed her shoes and added some accessories, not that boring necklace.  I know nautical is in for the summer, but I wouldn't gather for a red carpet affair. 

Katie, I used to be a fan.  But I, unlike apparently the rest of the fashion public, cannot stand how you dress.  And maybe you wore these shoes while filming the movie you portray Jackie O in, but really, lose the shoes.  PLEASE!

I don't think you had a stylist for this, not even a real red carpet affair, so you picked this and all your other outfits out yourself.  May I also add, not a fan of "boyfriend" jeans that you always wear.  But back to my point, Katie....I miss the days when you were Joey Potter on 'Dawsons Creek', but those days have long sailed away.  (Sorry going astray again.) Katie, the dress can stay, hire some better stylists (I know you have some) and BURN those shoes.  Or donate to your grandmother!

Super Bad isn't just a Movie Title Anymore...

Maybe its not fair to expect a lot out of a Supermodel.  I do believe it was Janice Dickenson who takes credit for coining "Supermodel," so I guess that says something in its self.  But I guess what I mean is, you expect a model to know how to dress, just like you expect athletes to be able to play multiple sports or musicians to be able to play various instruments.

Molly Sims, I have no words.  Granted you are tall, so you should be able to pull of a pattern such as this...in theory.  But the cut of the dress is so unflattering.  And your hair and lack of accessories, just screams BLLLLAAAAHHH to me. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Aside from the shoes, this dress is just not good on her.  Maybe cut of the sleeves into a tanktop shape dress?  Or lengthen the skirt, I know can't really add on more material.

I am going to make this really short, since I don't want to look at the dress anymore.  Molly, I don't think this was a super fancy event, although the pink sparkly cougar in the background could scream class to some people.  But regardless, I don't think you requested styling help.  But then again, I am not sure I know anything about Hollywood or people in general these days.  So Molly, take that outfit, keep the shoes and BURN, before someone sees you!

Yikes-A-Bee

A casual day is nice.  Wake up late, get coffee, read the newspaper...etc.  In fact, I myself am having one right now.  But there is nothing like going out in public in your pj's...wait its not so good when your a grown woman and you look like your walking around in your Pj's. 

Kate Bosworth, I guess who is more known for dating Orlando Bloom (a supposed heartthrob-although I don't see it) than for her acting skills.  She was in a bunch of movies, 'Blue Crush' and 'Win a Date with Tad Hamilton' being what I remember her from.  She has moved on from Orlando (thank you) and is now dating a hottie on the show 'True Blood.'  But even if you have a hot man on your arm, you have to look good right?  You gotta keep the man?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well first, don't ever wear this outfit again...and don't wear clothes that can be mistakened for pajamas.  But those shoes, good lord, they are ugly.  Are they a bootie?  A slipper?  It doesn't matter, something that horrific shouldn't be allowed in public.

Kate, I liked you in most of your movies, might even have a couple.  But even my favorite actresses have not been saved from the blog, so you shouldn't either.  I don't think a relaxing day warrants a stylist, even though I may suggest you band yourself from outfit selecting.  So go home, change into some flannel PJ's and BURN the entire outfit!  ASAP!!!

R-E-S-P-E-C-T...Oops, sorry wrong singer

Ok, so I will admit, I know very little about Patti LaBelle.  Yes, I know she is a singer, but not at famous as say Aretha Franklin?  I am not that musically challenged.  I found out she was the one that originally penned 'Lady Marmalade'  (Woooohooo Pink) with a band and won a couple Grammy's.  But just because I don't know much about her, doesn't make this outfit okay.

I read that she wrote Gospel Music as well, well she might want to start praying.  This is hideous. Not sure what she was on the red carpet for-it just looks scary there.  I want to say she is either going to church on a Sunday or a quickie wedding in Vegas.  Either is not an acceptable excuse.

Between the fan, which I will let slip because it has been super hot and that hat...this blog could go on for days.  But it won't-don't worry.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Maybe if the dress was a little more flowey and less tight in the skirt area it could be okay.  But the ruffles up top going into the straight skirt, just doesn't make for a pleasant coupling.  And the hat....if she wants to do the black and white hat, she should include black somewhere else in her outfit.

Ok, lets be honest.  She has been around for years and I will promise you has a group of stylist to help her dress for her events....whatever they may be.  So Aretha, I mean sorry, Patti, when you get home, look in the mirror.  And then call up your stylists and FIRE!!! 

Not such a Simple Life in that Outfit

I know these celebs that aren't really famous for their talent, but more their partying skills have unique "style."  And Nicole Richie is definitely more famous for who she knows in Hollywood and for of course naming her kid Pigeon.  Okay, it was actually named Sparrow...not sure which one is better. (Insert pigeon noise here)

I found this winner in a album of airport pictures, this one in an Australian. I just looked up the weather in Sydney, yes it was in the low 60's as the high.  But this is the 2nd time in a week that she has worn a little sundress, leather jacket and dark tights.  Nicole, I can no longer let you pass...though I not sure why I allowed you the pardon in the first place.

Previously I have seen her in a white lace dress and this same jacket, same shoes and without the bonnet.  But what do they say, two wrongs don't make right?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Okay if she is so concerned with being warm, dress accordingly.  She is a peanut, so less body fat means you run a little cold to begin with.  So I would say remove the dress, throw on some jeans and problem solved.  Or go to a warmer climate. It takes Mother Nature months to go through these seasons, Nicole  Richie tries it in one outfit.

So the pieces alone aren't terrible, we can all safely see that.  But just because they are all okay, doesn't mean we need to wear them all at one time.  Just because I like all my shoes, doesn't mean I wear a different one on each foot, that is just silly.  So Nicole, good name, I doubt you needed a stylist to help you go to the airport. I know you have a styling company, I saw you working with them on a MTV so show. So if one did help you out with your last weeks fashion choices, probably further back than that,  please put them on a plane, show them the emergency exits and FIRE!!!

I am sorry KBell!!!

I want to start this off by saying, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Kristen Bell.  And generally I like her style.  But this is a complete huge miss.  And this further proves that no one is safe and anyone can be become a victim.

This outfit might not be so bad if she was about to play tennis at a country club.  But for a Louis Vuitton opening in Beverly Hills, heat wave or not, this is not acceptable.  

We have the mesh around the shoulder, ruffling on the top and strips on the skirt, that is the best way I can describe it.  And with the tie-dye coloring, its just a little too casual.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

To dress up the outfit or at least improve it, I would say try to separate the top and bottom.  I would keep the skirt, throw on a solid tank top and rock the heels.  The nude colored shoes, probably not the best choice, maybe a darker color.  And a cute bracelet and it would be a vast improvement.

Dear Kristen,

I feel terrible.  But, I cannot support this look-even from you.  I doubt a stylist was needed for a store opening, so I fear you picked it out yourself.  Please don't do it again...I expect way more from you than this. 

Thank You!

I don't think she needs to BURN the outfit, just keep in the closet for a tennis match, round of golf...crochet? 

When Bad Blue happens to Good People

I recently heard Eva Mendes say that she thought the sexiest outfit for women was worn jeans, white tank top and no bra.  Hmmmmm, not exactly what I think of when I see this current outfit.  Maybe I heard the interview wrong, but I don't think so.  I can understand if she wants to be a bit more reserved than her previous comment, but this is a little over the top.  Literally to the top of her neck. 

The 70's called, they want their curtains back.  Glad I missed most of that decade, some crazy outfits no doubt.  Did they kill some smurfs to make this color?  Or is she channeling her inner Smurfette? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?  

Lets face, there is basically not too much wrong with the outfit physically...aside from the fact its super ugly.  So doesn't fit her personality or style.  And it makes me think of something my grandma might wear...with a longer skirt of course.  Not something a ex-model and current Revlon spokesperson would wear.

Based on the facts here, the past interviews, previous outfits and style, I conclude that Eva was coursed into wearing this outfit.  So I 100% blame the stylist.  Eva, call up your people and FIRE immediately.

Chester Cheetah Wouldn't Approve...

What can I say, at least your good at Tennis?  Don't give up your day job?  Don't stand next to Kim Kardashian?  She makes you look ginormous!
Serena Williams, I am glad your the number one ranked tennis player in the world right now, won't make me feel so bad when I comment on this dress. Yes, maybe as an athlete you aren't expected to excel in fashion trends, such as your friend Kim here.  But still green, leopard tight dress to a ESPY event....HIRE SOMEONE!!!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am going to assume this is satin, maybe even silk, and letting out wont help too much.  Its way to tight, the dress shouldn't bunch around her waste and stomach.  The dress itself shouldn't have rolls (not saying she has rolls, but you can see what I mean) And you cannot see it in this picture, but she a huge tan bandage on her leg, cut herself shaving perhaps?  Go without the band aid next time.  Please.

Lets get to the main point here.  When you are as well known as Serena or her sister Venus, you need to have people.  I know she has coaches, agents, PR people, etc to help guide her daily life.  So one has to assume she a team of stylists to help dress her for certain events.  I see Serena as someone that does what she wants though, so a stylist may have their work cut out for them.  But you have to do right by your client...and this so not right.  Serena, my advice, BURN first and then FIRE!!!

High School Flashback

When I was in high school, everyone I knew had a crush on Jordan Catalano from the TV show 'My So Called Life.'  And Angela, the red headed main character on the show, was in love with him.  And you watched it week after week to see when Angela and Jordan finally would, as we put it, "Hook Up".  Claire Danes hit the Hollywood map and we now know Jordan as Jared Leto, (although not as cute as he used to be) the rocker and sometimes actor.

The thing I really remember most about that show,which so wasn't the main point, was Claires bright red hair and how pale it made her look.  I mean it was a strange contrast and if I remember correctly, the whole dying of the hair and pasty white skin did come up in the dialogue sometime in the year it was on TV.  But this dress flashes me back there instantly. 

The dress shape isn't terrible, the cute could be kind of cute.  But the colors are all wrong for her skin type.  Because as we can all see, Claire is not getting any tanner.  If you squint really hard at the picture, it all blends...never a good thing.  And I blew the picture up more, when it was tiny, she looked almost completely nude.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

First thing I would do is remove the entire left sleeve.  What is that?  Did the designer have some left over fabric?  And I guess we cannot really change the color of the dress, maybe add some jewelry?  Maybe a little pop of color in the shoe? 

Basically the dress isn't ugly, its just not right for Claire.  But, while the stylist should of known better, the dress should be saved...and I guess so can the stylist.  We will call this one a draw, so no need to BURN or FIRE. 

Maybe we could dye it red to match her old hair color?  Ahh, flashback.