R-E-S-P-E-C-T...Oops, sorry wrong singer

Ok, so I will admit, I know very little about Patti LaBelle.  Yes, I know she is a singer, but not at famous as say Aretha Franklin?  I am not that musically challenged.  I found out she was the one that originally penned 'Lady Marmalade'  (Woooohooo Pink) with a band and won a couple Grammy's.  But just because I don't know much about her, doesn't make this outfit okay.

I read that she wrote Gospel Music as well, well she might want to start praying.  This is hideous. Not sure what she was on the red carpet for-it just looks scary there.  I want to say she is either going to church on a Sunday or a quickie wedding in Vegas.  Either is not an acceptable excuse.

Between the fan, which I will let slip because it has been super hot and that hat...this blog could go on for days.  But it won't-don't worry.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Maybe if the dress was a little more flowey and less tight in the skirt area it could be okay.  But the ruffles up top going into the straight skirt, just doesn't make for a pleasant coupling.  And the hat....if she wants to do the black and white hat, she should include black somewhere else in her outfit.

Ok, lets be honest.  She has been around for years and I will promise you has a group of stylist to help her dress for her events....whatever they may be.  So Aretha, I mean sorry, Patti, when you get home, look in the mirror.  And then call up your stylists and FIRE!!! 

Not such a Simple Life in that Outfit

I know these celebs that aren't really famous for their talent, but more their partying skills have unique "style."  And Nicole Richie is definitely more famous for who she knows in Hollywood and for of course naming her kid Pigeon.  Okay, it was actually named Sparrow...not sure which one is better. (Insert pigeon noise here)

I found this winner in a album of airport pictures, this one in an Australian. I just looked up the weather in Sydney, yes it was in the low 60's as the high.  But this is the 2nd time in a week that she has worn a little sundress, leather jacket and dark tights.  Nicole, I can no longer let you pass...though I not sure why I allowed you the pardon in the first place.

Previously I have seen her in a white lace dress and this same jacket, same shoes and without the bonnet.  But what do they say, two wrongs don't make right?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Okay if she is so concerned with being warm, dress accordingly.  She is a peanut, so less body fat means you run a little cold to begin with.  So I would say remove the dress, throw on some jeans and problem solved.  Or go to a warmer climate. It takes Mother Nature months to go through these seasons, Nicole  Richie tries it in one outfit.

So the pieces alone aren't terrible, we can all safely see that.  But just because they are all okay, doesn't mean we need to wear them all at one time.  Just because I like all my shoes, doesn't mean I wear a different one on each foot, that is just silly.  So Nicole, good name, I doubt you needed a stylist to help you go to the airport. I know you have a styling company, I saw you working with them on a MTV so show. So if one did help you out with your last weeks fashion choices, probably further back than that,  please put them on a plane, show them the emergency exits and FIRE!!!

I am sorry KBell!!!

I want to start this off by saying, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Kristen Bell.  And generally I like her style.  But this is a complete huge miss.  And this further proves that no one is safe and anyone can be become a victim.

This outfit might not be so bad if she was about to play tennis at a country club.  But for a Louis Vuitton opening in Beverly Hills, heat wave or not, this is not acceptable.  

We have the mesh around the shoulder, ruffling on the top and strips on the skirt, that is the best way I can describe it.  And with the tie-dye coloring, its just a little too casual.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

To dress up the outfit or at least improve it, I would say try to separate the top and bottom.  I would keep the skirt, throw on a solid tank top and rock the heels.  The nude colored shoes, probably not the best choice, maybe a darker color.  And a cute bracelet and it would be a vast improvement.

Dear Kristen,

I feel terrible.  But, I cannot support this look-even from you.  I doubt a stylist was needed for a store opening, so I fear you picked it out yourself.  Please don't do it again...I expect way more from you than this. 

Thank You!

I don't think she needs to BURN the outfit, just keep in the closet for a tennis match, round of golf...crochet? 

When Bad Blue happens to Good People

I recently heard Eva Mendes say that she thought the sexiest outfit for women was worn jeans, white tank top and no bra.  Hmmmmm, not exactly what I think of when I see this current outfit.  Maybe I heard the interview wrong, but I don't think so.  I can understand if she wants to be a bit more reserved than her previous comment, but this is a little over the top.  Literally to the top of her neck. 

The 70's called, they want their curtains back.  Glad I missed most of that decade, some crazy outfits no doubt.  Did they kill some smurfs to make this color?  Or is she channeling her inner Smurfette? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?  

Lets face, there is basically not too much wrong with the outfit physically...aside from the fact its super ugly.  So doesn't fit her personality or style.  And it makes me think of something my grandma might wear...with a longer skirt of course.  Not something a ex-model and current Revlon spokesperson would wear.

Based on the facts here, the past interviews, previous outfits and style, I conclude that Eva was coursed into wearing this outfit.  So I 100% blame the stylist.  Eva, call up your people and FIRE immediately.

Chester Cheetah Wouldn't Approve...

What can I say, at least your good at Tennis?  Don't give up your day job?  Don't stand next to Kim Kardashian?  She makes you look ginormous!
Serena Williams, I am glad your the number one ranked tennis player in the world right now, won't make me feel so bad when I comment on this dress. Yes, maybe as an athlete you aren't expected to excel in fashion trends, such as your friend Kim here.  But still green, leopard tight dress to a ESPY event....HIRE SOMEONE!!!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am going to assume this is satin, maybe even silk, and letting out wont help too much.  Its way to tight, the dress shouldn't bunch around her waste and stomach.  The dress itself shouldn't have rolls (not saying she has rolls, but you can see what I mean) And you cannot see it in this picture, but she a huge tan bandage on her leg, cut herself shaving perhaps?  Go without the band aid next time.  Please.

Lets get to the main point here.  When you are as well known as Serena or her sister Venus, you need to have people.  I know she has coaches, agents, PR people, etc to help guide her daily life.  So one has to assume she a team of stylists to help dress her for certain events.  I see Serena as someone that does what she wants though, so a stylist may have their work cut out for them.  But you have to do right by your client...and this so not right.  Serena, my advice, BURN first and then FIRE!!!

High School Flashback

When I was in high school, everyone I knew had a crush on Jordan Catalano from the TV show 'My So Called Life.'  And Angela, the red headed main character on the show, was in love with him.  And you watched it week after week to see when Angela and Jordan finally would, as we put it, "Hook Up".  Claire Danes hit the Hollywood map and we now know Jordan as Jared Leto, (although not as cute as he used to be) the rocker and sometimes actor.

The thing I really remember most about that show,which so wasn't the main point, was Claires bright red hair and how pale it made her look.  I mean it was a strange contrast and if I remember correctly, the whole dying of the hair and pasty white skin did come up in the dialogue sometime in the year it was on TV.  But this dress flashes me back there instantly. 

The dress shape isn't terrible, the cute could be kind of cute.  But the colors are all wrong for her skin type.  Because as we can all see, Claire is not getting any tanner.  If you squint really hard at the picture, it all blends...never a good thing.  And I blew the picture up more, when it was tiny, she looked almost completely nude.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

First thing I would do is remove the entire left sleeve.  What is that?  Did the designer have some left over fabric?  And I guess we cannot really change the color of the dress, maybe add some jewelry?  Maybe a little pop of color in the shoe? 

Basically the dress isn't ugly, its just not right for Claire.  But, while the stylist should of known better, the dress should be saved...and I guess so can the stylist.  We will call this one a draw, so no need to BURN or FIRE. 

Maybe we could dye it red to match her old hair color?  Ahh, flashback.

No Blue Skies Ahead

I know, I know...your thinking,"But I love her."  Please do not throw things at me.  I can hear you as your reading this, "But I love Reese, she is so cute."  Not in this dress she isn't.  Reese Witherspoon what happened? 

Even you, have to think this dress is not the most flattering on her. Its just BLAH!  There isn't anything real great about it.  It reminds me of a smock you wear when you go to get your hair done.  The color brings out her eyes, there something nice. 

But the embroidery makes her look much older than she is and the lack of shape, well lets be honest, that's how rumors start.  And what is she holding in her hand?  It looks like a worn wallet or something.

Hmmm...how to save the outfit?

Again the color is nice and the shoes are cute.  Maybe a little too matchy matchy though.  But my big problem is the style of the dress.  I don't think a belt would work.  I would try to bunch or sinch it in the back somehow.  Might work, might not, but if you can do that it would be a vast improvement. 

Well Reese, I will be honest, I am not the biggest fan.  And my mother wants me to date your ex Jake  Gyllenhaal, (cuz that will happen), so keep wearing outfits like this.  It will keep him from getting back with you.  But regardless, I cannot support this dress.  But you generally have better fashion habits than most, so I will give you this one time a free pass. 

The dress, will not get the same forgiveness.  I don't even think the Bend and Snap from 'Legally Blonde' will help you this time.  BURN, BURN, BURN.

Prison Break?

I suppose when your rock'n'roll royalty, you are allowed a certain amount of 2nd chances.  What do they say, Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll?  So I guess in some cases, 3rd, 4th and 5th chances are allowed. (I would like to say while I am typing this Tom Petty just came on the radio-seems apropos)  But what if you are the royalties daughter?

Liv Tyler, I am a big Aerosmith fan.  In fact, I will be seeing you father in a bout a week or two in concert.  But please, if you come to the show, do not wear this. 

I don't really think I even need to rip on this look too much, the picture does just fine without my fancy smancy words.  All I will say, don't you look like a little Jailbird and what's with the pooch?  No not the dog, the stomach.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I suppose if you threw a skirt on the girl, in a color, maybe even black could work and removed the tights, it would be a step in the right direction.  Throw on a cute pair of heels and you got a girl who used to be a model!

At first I thought this picture was taken while leaving a business meeting or something.  But then, when was the last time you had velvet ropes blocking the way to your work?  So she knew there would be photogs there.  Liv, I am sure a few of these items can be salvaged and made into a outfit...your stylist I am not so sure about.  Simply put, FIRE!!!

Where's the Groom?

So if you watch TV, read magazines or surf the Internet, you will know like 50 different couples got married this weekend.  Okay, so maybe a bit of a over-exaggeration, but A LOT in any case.  So Congrats to those people, I suppose that is the correct way to do it.  I won't mention them all, because then this blog would get way too long.

However, I know what your thinking, white dress + Vegas (TAO is in Vegas) + Pamela Anderson = WEDDING.  Nope, she wore this ugly dress on her own...or we haven't been told about the nuptials?  Is she even dating anyone?  Regardless, this mesh dress was worn to celebrate her bday...not a wedding.

But she isn't longing by the pool, actually onto her way into a night club.  I know living by the beach in California, you become accustomed to a certain level of laid-back-ness.  However, this is just ridiculous.  If you go to Vegas night clubs its all about the glitz and glamour. 

Hmmm, how to save the Outfit?

Lets be honest, it doesn't take someone to work at Victoria's Secret to know, you do not wear a tube top dress when you have a chest as large as hers.  I understand she was going to a "beach" theme club where it was all around the pool, but that doesn't excuse the lack of structure.  She isn't 22 years old anymore! (Sorry Pam)  The white is fine...but white mesh?  I think I see her underwear or bikini bottoms underneath the dress and believe me, I don't have to look too hard.

Maybe she should of given up the beach look and gone to get married.  At least we know she does that well...I would say to Pamela, hire a stylist and remove that dress.  Go to one of the thousands of stores in Vegas, which are ALL open late night and buy something nicer.  Then walk over to the Mirage Hotel and wait for the Volcano to erupt and throw this dress into the fire and watch it BURN!!!

Color Blind Much?

Not even sure where to start this one off...I guess at first I thought this was some crazy mannequin.  Or thought, are they trying to recast Kim Cattralls role in Mannequin? For those of you that don't know, way back in the 80's she did the movie...way way WAY before Sex and the City.  About a guy who worked in a department store and shocker, fell in love with a mannequin.  She came to life from time to time...typical 80's movie.  I mean they are all being made into remakes these days.

 But then I realized, nope that is just crazy Mischa Barton.  I used to love her style on the television show, 'The OC.'  (Except the flats, she always wore them and I still cannot get behind flats.  Even at 6'0" I will throw on the heels.)  With the crazy pattern of the dress, the bright lime green purse and the black bow hat (?), my eyes are getting a headache.  And no, the cameras aren't even shooting her, look at the background.  But Mischa needs all the help she can get, so lets see what we can do.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well first the pattern may not be so bad, if there was less of it.  I would cut it into a much shorter style, maybe even a little mini dress.  Throw on flats or a high heels, in a solid color, I mean the dress is a WOW-ZER, why add on crazy shoes to match.  Remove the lime green purse and add again, a more subtle bag and perhaps the head piece, whatever it is, can stay.

The dress can be saved, throw the bag out.  I have seen Mischa out recently and it hasn't been good.  I often wonder if she is trying to get into the sequel to 'Alice in Wonderland' (you know there will be one) with some of the wild outfits.  My advice to Mischa, besides laying off the Hollywood parties, is to FIRE your current stylists immediately and hire someone new...or no one will take you seriously.