What Bad Dresses do to Bad Dressers

There are certain people who want to be considered quirky.  I get it. But there is a time and place.  And after almost 2 weeks, this outfit still drives me so crazy that I felt I should just post something about it to alleviate my annoyance of it...if not only as a "PLEASE NEVER DRESS LIKE HER" warning.

Lena Dunham wore this to the 2014 Emmy Awards. My first question (because there are a lot) was were flamingos hurt in the making of this dress?  And why a collared shirt?  Ugh....although her look in the picture pretty much mirrored my face when seeing this on the computer.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am not even going to ask how to save this outfit...cuz I can't really see this is possible to fix.  And at a big huge event like the Emmy's where your show 'Girls' was no doubt nominated for awards, you chose to wear this? Or better yet, chose to allow your fashion consultants to let you where this?  I would FIRE them all, as I am pretty sure I have never seen a outfit I like you in.

But not to seem completely heartless...I will Google it and see if I can find an acceptable outfit.  Please hold (cue Jeopardy Music)...


ALAS, a outfit I do not hate:

See in this Glamour magazine article, a simple navy blue pleated dress.  Very cute, very simple with maroon ankle strap heels.  Classic.  Why does she feel the need to wear these outlandish outfits?  And worse yet, why do her fashion mavens allow it.  I wouldn't allow it if she was one of my friends, or other people I help dress.

But I do feel better about finding her in something respectable-like.  It gives me hope that one of these awards shows, she will simple do better!

ALERT: Missing Pants found...WITHOUT the owner in them

Do not be alarmed...well maybe a little bit.  Rihanna did not really lose her pants, I guess she just chose to go without them.  But I guess at this point we are lucky she put anything on?  And here is another celebrity (see previous examples of Christina Aguilera who was seen on 'The Voice' sans bottoms) who have believe underwear make acceptable outerwear.  

And no she isn't on the way to the beach and this is just a fancy cover up. She thought her scallop-edges black underwear and sheer dress would be enough.  Even we don't need to be Superman with x-ray vision to know this isn't what should be worn in public. And does anyone think Crazy Gypsy Lady too? Its the hair right? Please don't cast a curse on me for writing this...

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I don't think you even need to like fashion to get this one right.  Say it with me...WEAR BOTTOMS.  That you can't swim in.  A short mini skirt, short shorts, heck even boy shorts would of been better than this.  I am not saying she can't pull this off, but should she?

So Rihanna, I am gonna say that even while you may be on vacation, you shouldn't relax too much and skip proper dressing etiquette.  Somewhere, Joan Rivers would of had a field day with this on her celeb fashion show.  RIP in Joan...your fashion jokes (although pre-written) many times were hilarious and true.  So Rihanna BURN this outfit, its not cute at all...you have got plenty of money to buy something anything else!