Michelle Williams-Give Matilda her Clothes Back!!!

If you are an actor or actress, do you really get "Free Time?" When I say free time I mean, an opportunity to run errands in casual outfits in Los Angeles with no makeup, without having to worry about paparazzi taking your picture?  Apparently not...especially if your wardrobe choice is as bad as Michelle Williams. 

Williams is 31 years old and should not be wearing her daughter Matilda's clothes, who is seven.  When you are 7, you can wear ugly sandals and mismatched patterned shorts and tees.  But when you have been nominated for multiple Golden Globes and Academy Awards, you should act or in this case dress appropriately.  Especially if one of those rolls was playing Marilyn Monroe, who lets face it, is a Fashion Icon.  Did she get dressed in the dark?  Is she wearing Stevie Wonder glasses for a reason?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit? 

Simply pick one or the other.  Each piece has many options from skirts, jeans, shorts, tank tops t-shirts, etc to match with.  But together, it is a miss-mash mess.  And those sandals....yuck!

Michelle, I don't think you can blame your people for this look.  So I would definitely BURN the sandals, they are quite ugly.  And the clothes are fine, but don't wear together anymore.  But for the mean time keep the glasses on...maybe no one else will recognize you?

At Least Zooey's Dress will Protect her from the Sun!

I am going to preface this post by saying this absolutely pains me.  Anyone who knows me personally knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE Zooey Deschanel, but this dress was pretty darn tootin' bad.  (Yup, I said Tootin'-I blame 'New Girl')
At Fox's All Star party, she showed up in this Green/Brown Metallic flared dress with a bow belt and black pumps.  All together, its not the most flattering dress she has ever worn-maybe its better in person?  Reminds me of those car protectors people use, or used to use, that you put on your dash board during the day.  But instead of the silver foil sunshade color, its this.  See where I am going with this?  C'mon, you know you see the resemblance too!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well the bow is pretty bad, so I would remove that first.  And where are all the accessories?  Surely this dress is not fantastic enough to stand alone.  Try adding a piece to draw the eye away from the puke colored dress, like a bracelet or Tiara, because we all know she would rock one if given the chance.

All and all Zooey, I think this was just a bad decision.  Keep the shoes, basic black pumps (not shown in picture) can go with anything, but this dress does not.  So BURN this as soon as you can.

In regards to a response from Zooey, I'd like to quote her character on New Girl, Jess:

"I brake for birds. I rock a lot of polka dots... And I'm sorry I don't talk like

Murphy Brown and I hate your pantsuit. I wish it had ribbons on it or something to

make it just slightly cuter. And that doesn't mean I'm not smart and tough and strong!"

Even the "Tweens" Wont Like these Teen Choice Awards Outfits

I always know its officially summer time when I see the Teen Choice Awards on my DVR Guide and that day happened last night, although I did not watch it.  All the stars of popular tween television, movies and music get together and get awards, in the way of surfboards.  And generally its pretty obvious who will win, if you play a Vampire, are in the Hunger Games or are Justin Bieber or Taylor Swift, you have a good shot.  What isn't obvious is whether some of these stars had help picking out their outfits or not.  

In the case of these two young women, I hope they have stylists, so they have someone to blame other than themselves.  Lets start with the least terrible first.  Ashley Benson from the television show 'Pretty Little Liars.'  How to begin? The wind blown updo? The lack of accessories?  The boring shoes?  Or the pleated black capri pants that make her hips look HUGE!  She is 22-years-old I don't think she should be showing off childbearing hips just yet.  On her television show she is the one running around in high heels wearing cute little outfits (Yeah I watch it, so what, it is a good show.)  But this was a huge downer for me, probably when I am used to seeing her look much much better.  But Ashely's outfit was not the worst...

Ah Demi Lovato, newest judge on the X-Factor and previous Disney Darling with a slightly dark past.  This outfit should of definitely stayed there...in the past or at least off the carpet.  I have let "Stage Outfits" go in the past, but as you can clearly see, this is a pink carpet ensemble and is fair game.  I hate the horsetail pony with hair extensions that don't even match her hair color.  The futuristic gladiator outfits with shoulder protectors and feather fringe shirt.  And the black shoes, that don't even go with the outfit.  If she is going to go for this look, at least throw on the thigh high black boots and commit.  I understand her possibly wanting to shed her Disney image and be considered more grown up, but did she have to go steal one of co-judges Britney Spears costumes from 2009? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfits?

Ashley's outfit might be saved with accessories and a better shoe choice.  If her pants were also maybe a little shorter or a skirt-she could of gotten by with a slap on the wrist.  However Demi's is unsalvagable and just plain ugly.

So ladies, please BURN your entire outfit.  And Ashley, stick with your wardrobe department on your show and ask their advice.  As for Demi, if your shooting for bigger and better things, I think you need a better team behind you, so FIRE your current "peeps" immediately...

Hoping the Movie is Better than the Premiere Outfits for Dark Knight Rises

Dark Knight Rises will definitely be one of 2012's biggest films.  It probably wont be as record breaking as the last one, which was more about Heath Ledgers death and performance than Batman.  But I am expecting big things and cannot wait to see it.  Originally I was going to post a picture of one actresses outfit from the Monday "Knight" premiere in New York, until I saw more outfits...


Michelle Trachtenberg

Lets start with my original post victim, Michelle Trachtenberg.  There was nothing to this outfit.  The embellishment low cut front looks more like leopard print than sparkle.  And could she of picked a more boring nude shoe?  I also read she had stockings on. Really?  Its plain Blah.


Juno Temple

Next Up, Juno Temple.  I had to look her up, as I had no idea who she was.  She is an English Actress brought in to play Holly Robinson in the movie.  Perhaps she should of stayed home.  The dress could be cute if she had the right body shape to fill it out.  But as it is, its completely shapes and extremely boring with the matching black shoes.  She also felt no need to add a pop of color to the black potato sack looking dress.


Hailee Steinfeld

And finally Hailee Steinfeld, another actress, who wore another terrible outfit.  We can talk about how her dress length is way too long.  Or how her sandals do not go with the dress or event at all.  Or question whether she ripped off her mom's table cloth on the way to the premiere

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am going to make a serious effort to fix these if I can.  Lets see...Michelle could make a better showing with getting rid of those shoes and adding a different color.  Heck, even black would be better.  And maybe a bigger statement bracelet pulling out some of the embezzlement from the dress.  For Juno, she also needs accessories to go with the plain jane dress.  I would try and see if I could get it a bit more form fitting to try and show of any possible curves.  The shoes need to go as well, also needs a fun shoe.  She is young, she can pull it off.  As for Hailee, cut the dress to her thigh, immediately.  Again, needs a different show, maybe something with the pink in the dress or even silver.  And the bag should go with the shoe, something smaller.  Its kinda of "Old Lady" to me, but then again, she is wearing a table cloth looking dress.

It was pretty evident when looking at the premiere pictures, the "Movie Star" females just did it better and these young stars need a lot of work.  I am guessing most of them didn't have help in picking out their outfits. So step 1, find stylists.  Step 2, they need to get the Batman special effects team to blow something up and throw everything into the FIRE and start all over.  Go home and think about what you have done...and do not do it again.  Really ladies, poor poor showing.  Next time, you might as well borrow Bruce Wayne's Bat Suit, that would of looked better than your outfits.

Anthony Davis's Date to the Espys...A Uni!!!

So as I don't really follow men's college basketball or NBA basketball for that matter, I was a bit slow on the uptake on Anthony Davis and his special friend.  No, not that one-keep your mind out of the gutter.  However at last nights ESPY Awards in Los Angeles, I was educated on it. 

For those who don't know, Davis is a 6'10" basketball player, went to Kentucky for his freshman year and then decided to go pro.  And was drafted #1 by New Orleans Hornets. So it is natural he would be at the awards show and in a suit, which I can appreciate.  However what I didn't appreciate it was his Uni-Brow...

I complained about the beards and am now even more concerned that 2012 will be the year of the Uni.  I know its a little hard to see in the picture of his outfit, so I have included a close up just so you can all get a proper visual. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The outfit is fine, its the caterpillar on his forehead I am concerned about.  He was a good sport about the jokes last night, but you would think it might encourage him to rectify the situation.  As a girl who gets her eyebrows plucked, its relatively painless.  And if he is embarrassed to go in to a salon, I mean he is a big guy, he would certainly make a scene.  Here is a link to amazon for a pair of tweezers, they deliver...and start plucking.  I am even sure someone could come to your house to wax them to? 

http://www.amazon.com/Tweezerman-Slant-Tweezer-Classic-Stainless/dp/B000WI1VN0/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1342112648&sr=8-3&keywords=tweezers

Lets face it Anthony, you are going to be a rich kid, I think its time to grow up and fix your facial issues.  Do not BURN them off, that would be bad.  And I wouldn't FIRE anyone...yet.  Perhaps you might want to surround yourself with some better friends.  Because a good friend would of told you to fix the uni way before now!!!

And because I thought it was funny, here is the ESPY's Opening jokes...about 6 minutes in is the Anthony Davis portion:

When Popstars "Tighten" things Up...

This is a case of when good clothes go wrong...Britney Spears (do I really need to add the "Spears" part) was going to X Factor auditions in a 'LBD.'  We women all know we need Little Black Dresses and when scanning through pictures of celebs, one might of assumed this one would be okay.  But you know what happens when you ASS-U-ME...

The dress is way Way WAY too tight.  When clothing starts rolling over itself, it means it doesn't fit correctly.  You can clearly see the bottom half of her dress especially, is riding up and rolling in places it shouldn't.  And the top seems to almost be cutting of circulation in her arms.  I am not sure if her look of discomfort is from the outfit or the screaming people around her...both have some issues.

And while we are on the topic of too tight, Nick Jonas, is that something in your pocket, or are you just happy to see a cab?
I think your jeans are tighter than Britney's dress and that is not good.  And the white shoes?  Well good thing your cute.  All you need is a fanny pack to complete the look, or is that what you are holding? Or is it your man bag? 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well for Britney, I would first attempt to get a bigger size or at least try and let it out.  She seems to be in good shape, just maybe the wrong cut for her.  She has child bearing hips now, so maybe something with more of a A-line cut.  As for Nick, well wear bigger jeans.  It is okay to leave some things to the imagination.

Britney, this is a step in the right direction from your shoe less feet in a gas station bathroom and shaving your own head days. So no need to FIRE anyone, but just a bad choice, maybe donate dress to your sister?  Nick, BURN those white shoes and man bag immediately.  And you too can donate your jeans...maybe to the same girl who takes Britneys dress.

Political Statement or Bad Fashion... just Because?

I was originally going to do a ode to the 'Worst Celebrity 4th of July Outfits Ever' and then I saw this picture...

Obviously it is taken in Malibu, CA, as per the tshirt.  And if you are wondering who that is, it is Jared Leto. At first I thought it was just a random guy walking down the beach in a bad outfit, trying to make some sort of  statement.  Then I realized nope, famous person.  Jared is what we might call a "Strange Bird" and I should probably  just leave alone.  But if this was a girl, I would rip on her for her bad fashion taste, so all is fair in Jared and Fashion.

For those of you who don't know Jared Leto is a good looking guy (picture on the left), who is not only a actor, but lead singer for the rock band 30 Seconds to Mars.  But in the picture above he is choosing to ignore his good looks and take pictures of the sand (?).  In a long sleeve shirt, skinny jeans, boots (which living in Southern California, I know work AWESOME on the beach) and a gaucho hat.  In my opinion the only thing that fits for beach attire are his sunglasses.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit? 

First off, boots on the beach?  Jared has lived in California for years and I know he owns flip flips.  I have seen him in them.  It was a little cloudy at the beach I am sure, so layers were probably needed, but not sure those were the correct items.  And the hat?  I understand you don't want to get burned, but isn't that what sunscreen is for? 

Jared Jared Jared...your style team is not to be blamed for this.  I doubt they dressed you for the 4th of July fireworks.  So the blame falls on you.  I know you have a certain image to uphold, but can't you do it and still look cute at the same time?  BURN it all, shave the beard and trim the hair.  And for gosh sakes, why are you taking pictures of the sand???

Dude, Where's the rest of my Shirt?

I imagine I am going to get some heat for this one, but its has been bothering me for a while.  I am not sure Miley Cyrus realizes she isn't getting her full shirt length, when she goes shopping.  She always seems to be missing the section that covers her mid-drift.  I get it, your thin and workout.  You better when you are engaged to a little hottie like Liam Hemsworth, but enough is enough.

To give you an example of what I am talking about, I simply went to google images and entered 'Miley Cyrus-June 2012' to get a sample of outfits.  And here is what I was gifted with:

So apparently in June, in Los Angeles, we should be wearing calf-high black motorcycle boots (2012's equivalent to Uggs and short jeans skirts?), short shorts, fish net stockings and flannel shirts.  Yes it is an interesting spectrum of outfits, certainly not something you would expect from someone worth $100 million and a franchise worth a billion. 

Makes me wonder, I go into a lot of stores, does she shop in the little girls department or does she do her own clothing designing?  Forbes does list her as a "designer" so go figure.  With someone who has been around as long as her in the public eye, as popular as she is, you would hope a little effort could be made. And now a public engagement with another popular celeb, old enough to get married, old enough to dress properly.  And I would like it noted, no she is NOT going to the gym...that is a whole other set of wardrobe issues.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Really?  Lets just end this saying a picture says a thousand words.  And here are five pictures you do the math.  BURN, the fishnets with holes in them, all the tops, the polka-dot onesie and buy some big girl tops Miley...you can do it!!!

BET Awards should of been named the BAD Awards

Last night was the 2012 BET Awards.  And I will admit, not really my music scene, nor do I watch the Television Network so I was in the dark who a lot of these people were.  So I am a bit out of my comfort zone, but here goes.  I of course knew the familiar faces like Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, etc.  But it was a awards show so I am paying it is proper dues.  And oh my, were the clothes bad.  Here is a range of examples of the atrocities I had to look at.  It was so bad, I HAD to stop looking for more pictures. 


T to B: Beyonce, Kerry
Washington and Laurieann Gibson

Shall we start with Pop Superstar and richer than God, Beyonce?  Here is her lime green gown and a picture what the designer intended it to look like.  Did she think she was going to a Toga Party?  And I am sure she knows her tiara is supposed to be on your head...not around your waste. 

Then we have Kerry Washington, not a musician, but an actress.  I don't want to talk mean about retail chains like Forever 21, but this is typically what I see in those types of stores...cheap basics.  Certainly she could of done better, no effort was put into this nude tube top and black skirt outfit slection.  When I first saw the picture, I thought we had a wardrobe malfunction.

And then Laurieann Gibson is she late for her booking at the Los Angeles County jail?  And should one pant leg really be higher than the other?  But I think that is the least of what should be her worries.

Hmmm, how do I save the outfit?

Let's put it this way, these weren't even performance outfits and those were worse. For Beyonce, I would of stuck with the designers idea.  I don't like it bunched around her right leg, it actually makes her look shorter, even with almost her full left showing.  A belt of some sort was needed to synch the waist, not sure that one was it.  For Kerry, she needs some color, stat.  If your gonna go with a simple black polyester skirt, you need to throw on something more eye catching on the top.  And the nude belt that blends into the blah looking top, is not it.  And Laurieann...Oh Laurieann.

Beyonce, you are a two-time offender.  Once for your casual attire and now for your red carpet gown.  Simply put, I still expect better.  Kerry, this is just boring.  I know your not a performer and it wasn't necessarily your night.  But you put effort in to getting dressed to go, take the next step. If you hired stylists for this, you should FIRE.  If they can mess up a presenters outfit, wait until you need them for something more important.  And Laurieann...oh poor Laurieann.  Stick with Choreography and BURN this jumpsuit IMMEDIATELY!!!