Another Day...Another Movie Premiere...Another Bad Dress

Total Recall opens in the theaters today and so the premiere photos have been plentiful.  And as much as I would like to pick on some men in suits, who am I kidding, I don't want to pick on men in suits.  I like men in suits, more men should wear them.  But the premiere performance that bombed (hopefully the movie wont) comes from the female stars of the film, Kate Beckinsale and Jessica Biel.

Left to Right: Jessica Biel and Kate Beckinsale

Let's start with Kate first, as she is on my list of 'Style I Admire.'  But I do not admire this dress.  Kate is pretty and has such an amazing physique that she can pull almost anything off, but even this Anaconda looking dress is too much for her.  Did she kill it and skin it on her way?  Cuz that may have made it more interesting.  As one of the few female action stars (see Underworld Trilogy) and looks badass in the trailer, I would believe it. But what I cannot believe is her hair stylist let her go out in with what I can only phrase as Medusa Snake looking hair.  She has amazing hair-I think she could of done better.
Now on to Jessica...in a light pink Dior number.  The pockets on the side seem to be a new trend, but aside from the fact that she looks like a giant cotton candy, there is nothing else to the outfit.  The jewels she is wearing don't fit with the style of the dress-shouldn't be wearing pearls?  And the shoes and matching clutch do very little to help out the look.  But the worst part is the length of the dress.  It needs to either be shorter or longer, but not mid calf.

2012 Fall Christian Dior Show Model

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

For Kate, I just don't like the dress.  It was a brave attempt, but with no other accessories and lack luster hair, there is nothing to stand against the dress.  So I wouldn't try the look again.  Maybe if it was a shorter dress-like a python mini dress?  Add some amazing heels and there is a bit of a start.  For Jessica, the length is wrong to begin with too.  As you can see in the models picture from the Dior Runway show, the length on the model is much more flattering.  And I love her Electric Blue pumps.  The model completely outshines the movie star in this one, maybe Jessica's people should take another look at this photo before attempting this again.

Kate and Jessica probably shouldn't want to recall this event outfits ever again, sorry bad joke, but I think you get the idea.  Kate you need to BURN this dress and Jessica, this makes you a repeat offender.  Time to start deciding if you want to keep your peeps or FIRE.  I personally would take a long look at the shoe choices. But I have seen you look much better recently, and if I were you,  I would expect more from the people I pay to dress me.  Just saying...

I See London, I See France...I See Someone's Underpants

You date one of the biggest pop superstars ever, Justin Timberlake...You star in several action movies and get to make out with Bradley Cooper...And your career is apparently thriving.  One might say you have it all, right?  Well Jessica Biel, you don't have one thing, NUDE UNDERWEAR!!!!

At first glance, this red dress looks pretty, flattering and a nice color for her.  And then when you take that second look, note her black underwear.  Yup the skirt of the dress is pretty sheer but c'mon, you're not even trying.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt.  I am sure someone had you throw on the dress after hair and makeup and run out of the door.  So you probably didn't have a chance to look in the mirror.  (Note to self:  Always check the mirror before leaving the house.)  But what is your excuse for this suit number?  It looks like you borrowed it from Diane Keaton, but she wouldn't even wear this.  How do you expect to keep Justin in this awful suit? That is a bad color, no shape, too short and those shoes are way too old for you. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

For the red dress, pretty easy and I will say it again...NUDE UNDERWEAR!!!  As for the suit, the jacket needs to be more fitted, the pants longer, lose the shoes for a younger version and the shirt is just boring. 

I do believe with all the promoting for A-Team Jessica is doing, a stylist may not of gone to Berlin for the functions, but she definitely sat down with someone to pick the outfits out.  And generally I think she does okay fashion-wise, so I will let the stylist keep the job.  But for the suit....I don't think I really need to say it, but I will BURN BURN BURN BURN!!!