It's Oscar Night...

Tonight is the night that anyone who is anyone...better have a stylist.  It is also the one night of the year, that I can 100% blame a stylist.  Because although they may not of made the final decision, they probably brought the celeb the dress and/or suit to choose from.  So here goes...

I absolutely hate Solange Knowles red paint suit with train, there really isn't any other way to say it:

Solange Knowles

Gumby

With the big hair and full coverage red outfit (is it a dress or a suit), its a little much and a little too boring at the same time.  Without any sparkles or anything to draw attention from the outfit, all I can say is she reminds me of a red Gumby.   And man a mock turtle neck just screams elegance right?  Yet the biggest question, why is she even there?

The other dress I thought was terrible was by a young actress that I haven't ever posted about, or at least remember posting about, Chloe Grace Moretz. The pleated strapless gown that almost swallows her whole would probably of even enough to write about.  But throw in the floral pattern and it made it even more worth-while to write about.  Her Miu Miu gown is pretty bad bad.

Chloe Grace Moretz

The satin top started out okay enough, but then went down a floral hill really really fast.  Again, nothing to draw attention away from the dress.  No fun shoes.  No cute clutch. No sparkling million dollar necklace. Even her hair is kinda blah.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

For Solange's dress, there is just so many layers.  Maybe remove the sleeves, make it lower cut in the front or try and remove some of the multiple layers?

For Chloe, the pattern is what really turns me off.  It doesn't scream Oscar as much as "My Mom Made this Dress and I am wearing it to the Oscars".  And I know that isn't the case.

And Gumby...hey, its Gumby.  Its a classic and should be left alone.  And who doesn't love a green suit?

Anyways no need to delay the inevitable.  Both these dresses should BURN, it's the least we can do for them.  And as for the stylist's, well Chloe is still young.  So I will give her a pass.  But Solange, hello, your sister is Beyonce.  Doesn't she like own the world?  FIRE your stylist and what can I say, I expected more!

BET Awards should of been named the BAD Awards

Last night was the 2012 BET Awards.  And I will admit, not really my music scene, nor do I watch the Television Network so I was in the dark who a lot of these people were.  So I am a bit out of my comfort zone, but here goes.  I of course knew the familiar faces like Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye, etc.  But it was a awards show so I am paying it is proper dues.  And oh my, were the clothes bad.  Here is a range of examples of the atrocities I had to look at.  It was so bad, I HAD to stop looking for more pictures. 


T to B: Beyonce, Kerry
Washington and Laurieann Gibson

Shall we start with Pop Superstar and richer than God, Beyonce?  Here is her lime green gown and a picture what the designer intended it to look like.  Did she think she was going to a Toga Party?  And I am sure she knows her tiara is supposed to be on your head...not around your waste. 

Then we have Kerry Washington, not a musician, but an actress.  I don't want to talk mean about retail chains like Forever 21, but this is typically what I see in those types of stores...cheap basics.  Certainly she could of done better, no effort was put into this nude tube top and black skirt outfit slection.  When I first saw the picture, I thought we had a wardrobe malfunction.

And then Laurieann Gibson is she late for her booking at the Los Angeles County jail?  And should one pant leg really be higher than the other?  But I think that is the least of what should be her worries.

Hmmm, how do I save the outfit?

Let's put it this way, these weren't even performance outfits and those were worse. For Beyonce, I would of stuck with the designers idea.  I don't like it bunched around her right leg, it actually makes her look shorter, even with almost her full left showing.  A belt of some sort was needed to synch the waist, not sure that one was it.  For Kerry, she needs some color, stat.  If your gonna go with a simple black polyester skirt, you need to throw on something more eye catching on the top.  And the nude belt that blends into the blah looking top, is not it.  And Laurieann...Oh Laurieann.

Beyonce, you are a two-time offender.  Once for your casual attire and now for your red carpet gown.  Simply put, I still expect better.  Kerry, this is just boring.  I know your not a performer and it wasn't necessarily your night.  But you put effort in to getting dressed to go, take the next step. If you hired stylists for this, you should FIRE.  If they can mess up a presenters outfit, wait until you need them for something more important.  And Laurieann...oh poor Laurieann.  Stick with Choreography and BURN this jumpsuit IMMEDIATELY!!!

What's Wrong Beyonce...A Little Blue?

I think its fair to say, Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z make more in one week than I and most Americans will make make in our entire life. With that said....you couldn't of made a bit more of an effort Beyonce?

This picture was snapped in NYC, so yes the beanie and layers are probably a good idea. However the outfit itself is atrocious. A over sized jacket, sweat shorts, leather leggings (?) or tight jeans, beanie, round sunglasses and high top tennis shoes. If your wondering what the leopard bundle she is holding is, its her 9 week old daughter Blue Ivy. (Don't even get me started on the name.)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Lets be honest this is what we middle-class people call LAZY. She looks like a street bum carrying her cans to the recycle center. Certainly she could of gone with just a pair of jeans, rich people wear jeans right? Why throw on a pair of shorts? And maybe she is wearing her husbands jacket, but I think the woman can afford her own coat.

Beyonce, I am sure this was not your stylist's fault, so not need to FIRE them. However they should help you pick a more suitable outfit to walk the streets of New York if you cannot do it yourself. I know you have better style than this-I expected more from you. I mean what is Blue Ivy going to do when she looks back at her baby pictures on the Internet and sees this...after she changes her name? So give back J his jacket back and BURN the rest...but not the tennis shoes, you shouldn't burn rubber, I hear it smells bad!