I've Had it up to EAR!!!



(T to B): Gemma Arterton,
Carmen Electra & Rihanna

So as I was watching 'Celebrity Apprentice' Sunday night and I realized something was bothering me.  It wasn't the fact that I am still trying to figure out who some of these celebs are and why they are famous. Or that I used to like Aubrey O'Day (I know who?) when she was a little reality contestant on MTV's Making the Band and now she seems incredible entitled after having a little bit of fame.  No, it was the ugly, semi-blurred by make-up, tattoo behind Aubrey's ear that I couldn't stop looking at.
 
I will note, I am not a "Tattoo Person."  Never have been, never will be.  So I am sorry if you, the reader, are a fan of tats.  Even knowing the fact that one day their skin artwork will be marred by wrinkles-A LOT of people have them. While searching for pics of Aubrey 's tattoo, I found numerous Hollywood celebrities with behind the ear tattoos.  Is this the newest version of the 'Tramp Stamp'?  Am I missing something?

I can see having tattoos on the side, arms, wrist or even on a finger, which is very popular now.  But its not like you can admire the design behind your ear, although it would be funny to watch someone try. (All of a sudden imagining one of these women spinning around like a dog chasing her ear tattoo.)  Surely there is a better place for these things.

Miley Cyrus

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Not really one of those posts on saving anything, so we will leave it alone.  Among the ear tattooed are Carmen Electra, Rihanna, Miley Cyrus, Pink and of course Aubrey O'Day.  Oddly enough, I couldn't find a picture of her tattoo, which is now driving me even crazier. Tune in Sunday night on NBC and you can see it for yourself.  (There you go Donald Trump-FREE advertising.)

Obviously inking ones self is not a stylists fault or responsibility...although maybe hiding it is.  So get these ladies some hair extensions or beanies.  And while this isn't a BURN or FIRE type of situation, it is a personal preference and its not mine. Maybe someone can explain to me the reason why this is so great and why everyone is doing it.  But may I remind you, there is bone behind the ear, so before you decide to follow this trend let me say one thing...OUCH!!!

What do you think?  Are you a Tattoo person?  Comment below...

Hunger Games Premiere-Comes off just a little short

I really wanted to post something in regards to the 'Hunger Games' premieres, surely there must be a outfit disaster somewhere.  But more or less, its been pretty respectable as Red Carpets events go.  And with premieres all over the world, every other day it seems, makes for a lot of wardrobe changes.  The star of the movie, Jennifer Lawrence (I had to IMDB her too) has done a nice job so far.  She is a 22-year old, on the rise to probably more fame than she ever imaged in this tween sensation flick and has already nominated for an Oscar.  But, alas in NYC she hit a snag...

There is just something about this dress that bothers me.  The color is pretty, but I hate the black shoes, the belt draws attention to a awkward place and the cut of the dress just seems off.  And with the lack of jewelry and accessories, its kind of just blah to me.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The low cut front would be much better on a longer dress.  I think with the current design, it makes Jennifer look shorter and compact.  So if you make the dress skirt portion floor length, it stretches the whole look out.  Remove the belt and add a sparkly necklace and all would be better.  Its actually super surprising to me, since most of her other premiere outfits have been floor length gowns.  And New York is a place where fashion excels and is expected, so its disappointing.  If the dress it to remain short, only suggestion is to still remove the belt and maybe throw on a tan shoe, to elongate the legs and a great clutch bag.

Let's be honest, the dress choice was a easy mistake.  And although I do not think Jennifer needs to BURN the dress or FIRE her stylists (who are obviously on staff for a media blitz like this), I would return the dress back to the designer with my notes.  It could of been worse and I am sure we will see some mistakes in the future, but you are young Jennifer and I will forgive you...once!

But I know how I feel-What do you think about the dress and over-all look?  Comment below.

Broken Mirror Mirror, But no 7 Years of Bad Luck

There are two Snow White remakes coming out this year and hopefully the movies are better than this premiere outfit for Lily Collins.  The 'Mirror Mirror' premiere happened this last weekend in Hollywood and although this may not be the most obvious choice to comment on, I have seen this trend a lot in the last couple weeks...dresses that are far too big for its celebrity wearer. This reminds me of a young girls playing dress up in their moms party dresses.

As you can see, the skirt of the dress is extremely too "Poofy" for Lily.  Per IMDB, she is 5'5" and someone substantially taller is probably a better choice to pull off the dress.  The pattern itself is pretty and even the bodice fits nicely.  But the bottom half simple over-whelms her. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am thinking if the bottom portion was a bit shorter it would still be too much.  Perhaps remove some of the underneath fluff and shorten and it could improve it a bit.  And maybe add a bulky necklace or earrings to offset the her lower half?  At least something to attract the eyes away from the bottom.

Far Right: Lucy Hale

As I mentioned, this is a fad I have noticed over the last week.  After watching 'Pretty Little Liars' this week, one of the dresses stood out to me the same way.  The actress wearing the dress, Lucy Hail, is only 5'2".  And although I love the pattern of the dress, you will notice she is swallowed up by it as well (picture to the right.)

Although I am a fan of glamorous red carpets and I can appreciate what Lily was trying to do, I don't think her main objective was to be overshadowed by her dress.  Lily is still young, still figuring out her fashion sense.  And no, this dress isn't by far the worst thing I have seen...even today.  But its a trend I am not a fan of.  So while we don't need to BURN the dress, (maybe give it to someone taller-i.e. me) or FIRE the stylists, I would like stylists and wardrobe departments to take notice.  I do not support this fad and please stop it!!!

But what do you think?  Comment below...

Green Beer Goggles Required...

Happy Belated St. Patricks Day!!!

After a night of celebrating with corned beef, green beer and shamrock shakes I felt like searching for the elusive perfect little green dress.  And you want to know why women don't make them a staple in their closets, because they don't exist. So grab a beer, some green dye and lets discuss...



(From Left to Right: Amanda Seyfried, Victoria Beckham, Isla Fisher & Britney Spears)



Don't get me wrong, there were some pretty dresses, but these xamples are down right awful.  Starting from the left side, Amanda Seyfriends dress looks like something from the junior department of a low budget department store.  I think part of the issue is due to wind or static cling, but the fit around the chest is terrible, it looks like she didn't fill it out.  Victoria Beckham is next and I believe this is actually from her own line-it reminds me of the Jolly Green Giant outfit (see below),  besides having no shape to it at all.  I am pretty sure if she was single, she could just write her number on her dress, rip a piece off and hand it out!  Isla Fisher, where is the top of your dress?  You clearly look uncomfortable in it and I am pretty sure you got it at the same store as Amanda.  And Britney, I know you have been through a lot, but I cannot let you off.  This reminds me of a sample dress used by designers, scraps of a couple dresses used to create the shape.   

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Lets face it, all these woman have had enough success in their life to be able to afford better cuts, designs and fits.  None  of the dresses can be saved and who really wants to.  This is why we have Little Black Dresses or LBS's in our closests.

Ladies, BURN all of these dresses as soon as you can.  Victoria, if this dress is in fact from your line, FIRE your designers-there is no excuse.  Amanda, Isla and Britney I am pretty sure you didn't use a stylist for these events, but maybe you should consult some proffessionals.  I am sure they will tell you to stay away from the junior department sale racks too!!!

Comments?  Questions? Let me know below...

What's Wrong Beyonce...A Little Blue?

I think its fair to say, Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z make more in one week than I and most Americans will make make in our entire life. With that said....you couldn't of made a bit more of an effort Beyonce?

This picture was snapped in NYC, so yes the beanie and layers are probably a good idea. However the outfit itself is atrocious. A over sized jacket, sweat shorts, leather leggings (?) or tight jeans, beanie, round sunglasses and high top tennis shoes. If your wondering what the leopard bundle she is holding is, its her 9 week old daughter Blue Ivy. (Don't even get me started on the name.)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Lets be honest this is what we middle-class people call LAZY. She looks like a street bum carrying her cans to the recycle center. Certainly she could of gone with just a pair of jeans, rich people wear jeans right? Why throw on a pair of shorts? And maybe she is wearing her husbands jacket, but I think the woman can afford her own coat.

Beyonce, I am sure this was not your stylist's fault, so not need to FIRE them. However they should help you pick a more suitable outfit to walk the streets of New York if you cannot do it yourself. I know you have better style than this-I expected more from you. I mean what is Blue Ivy going to do when she looks back at her baby pictures on the Internet and sees this...after she changes her name? So give back J his jacket back and BURN the rest...but not the tennis shoes, you shouldn't burn rubber, I hear it smells bad!

A Swing...And a Miss

As a girl who grew up having to wear sports bras to play basketball and softball, I feel I should be considered a 'Sports Bra Expert.'  Besides this fact, I used to manage a Victoria's Secret and when they introduced their new sports bra line, I had to go to extensive training classes on why a woman needs one and how it should fit.

So imagine my surprise while reading US Weekly today and enjoying a nice cup of coffee, I turned to this picture, titled 'J. Lo Packs Punches.' Its for the latest cover of V Magazine.  And as far as I can see neither J Lo or the stylists at V Magazine, have yet to become such experts in the fit of a sports bra.  I mean is there nothing sexier than a bra squishing down your boobs so much that they fall out of the bottom and having a leather diaper camel toe for all of America to see?

(Sports Bra Expert Note:  For those of you out there, who have never had the privilege of wearing one, there is elastic along the bottom of the sports bra, so it should sit snugly against the body under the breasts, preventing anything from spilling out.)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?



Cover

The idea itself is cute enough, but poorly executed.  First, find the woman a bra that fits.  Secondly remove the bottoms completely, I don't care who you are, no woman is going to look "hot" or "sexy" in those.  And put on a pair of men's boxing shorts.  No doubt, they will show off her physique a lot more-which lets face it, is the main point. 

You will be happy to notice, the editors decided to go with slightly different photos for the cover, a least the bra is on correctly.  But alas, with the Internet out today and my Celebrity Fashion Blog, the pictures above will be around forever.   J. Lo I would BURN this magazine spread and FIRE the stylists for the shoot...they just make you look cheap!

And the Oscar goes to...George Clooney's New Girlfriend?

So some of you may be wondering who this is.  If you don't watch WWE, Dancing with the Stars or stay away from all grocery stores (check out line magazines), you may have missed her.  She is Stacy Keibler.  WWE wrestler, turned dancer, turned  George Clooney's new girlfriend.

Okay, Okay I admit it, I may be a tad bit jealous.  I mean c'mon she is dating as coined by Jessica Sarah Parker at the MTV Awards in 2000, "The Clooney." You know your a little jealous too-even you guys if your reading.  We all love George, but now she gets to do it a little more...intimately? 

But back to my point, her outfit.  Well since I cannot see her shoes, I cannot comment on those.  But would you really notice them with the sheet of gold wrapped around her?  The dress is by Marchesa, a pretty famous designer, so you would expect a bit more.  I am not sure what bothers me more, the twisting of what I can only terms as "bed sheet mess" or that is looks like with one small bump you might knock the girl over.  Or the fact, that she looks exactly like the Oscar Statue behind her. 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Oddly enough this was a middle of the way dress for the Hit or Miss lists, but the horrible misses were just too easy. The dress would of been a HUGE hit for me, if the twist wasn't there and it was more form fitting.  She's a pretty girl, but the dress, in my opinion, over-shadows her. If the twist must remain, I think the bottom half of the dress needs to be let out a bit.  Give your legs some breathing room and they will help you walk.

Stacy, I say this one is pretty simple.  Don't FIRE the Stylist, BURN the dress and demand George to buy you a new one...he can afford it.

'To Burn or Fire' -IS BACK!!!

Has it really been that long?  In one word...YUP!  But do not fret my friends, To Burn or Fire is back and with vengeance.

After spending the last year or so focusing on my artwork, I realized I was neglecting my other passion, fashion. (Sorry Dr. Seuss-don't sue)

Call it Award Season Inspiration.  Call it fashion jealousy.  Call it I am sick of the terrible outfits I've been seeing lately.  Or we can call it what it is, I miss voicing my opinion and it misses being heard.

So stay tuned, more will surely be coming.  Plenty of To BURN or FIRE questions will be answered...TBC