Hardly EAR-esistible...even for a Kardashian

Kendall Jenner

Coachella never fails to turn out some unforgettable fashion for me.  In fact, it is generally so bad that I try to stay away from the pictures.  But what can I say, curiosity got the best of me.  And lookie lookie what I found...

Yup Kendall Jenner is wearing a nose ring that connects to her ear via a chain.  Now, not that that wasn't strange enough, but did she really need to have such a large piece in her nose?  Surely it might of been a bit better if the larger portion was connected to her ear.  Kinda makes you wonder was is attached to her ear.  (Never mind-I don't even want to know)

Now I know technically she is a Jenner.  But lets face facts, she is all Kardashian and attempting to follow in the shadow of her three more famous siblings.  And again, as a Kardashian, her decision making skills should be called into question.  (I wont even make a list-I don't think I even need to!)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Jennifer Lopez

I like the tennis shoes, we all love a good pair of chucks.  And while I am not a fan of the rest of the outfit, it goes with the "Hippie-Dippie" of Coachella.  But the nose ring....it is unacceptable.

As someone who is an up-and-coming model and obviously trying to stay in the spot light, while this may get you some attention-it might not be the kind you want.  But BURN the earring and move on kid!  (And might as well throw in the Bandanna too-who are you Jennifer Lopez?)

Another Macklemore Sighting...Stick to the Original

Is this the new fad in Men's hair fashion?  If so I am not a fan.  It works for the Indie Rapper Macklemore, but he is a performer.  Why is Britney Spears's Ex-boyfriend walking around trying to copy his hairdo?

I know TMZ focused on his gut, but hey I mentioned Brad Pitts attempt and he is way more famous than this guy...Jason Trawick (who doesn't even have a Wikipedia Listing, he has to steal Brit Brit's.)  He is her agent for those of you wondering...AWK-WARD!!!

Clothes Not Worthy of a 100 Million Bucks

"Hipsters" is a term that is thrown around pretty regularly these days. We all know the usual Hollywood examples (Zoeey Deschanel, Shia LaBeouf, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, James Franco, Jared Leto, Michael Cera, etc.) and of course the Olsen Twins should be included in that list.  No one wears baggy thrift shop clothes like those two.  But seriously, per several websites, Ashley and Mary-Kate's fortune is worth at least...AT LEAST...$100 Million. And they have chosen to walk around LAX airport in these outfits?

Now these are teeny tiny twenty-seven-year-olds (I know these kids grow up so fast) and the over sized black jackets, sweaters swallow them up.  And lets face it, we are in the middle of a heatwave and water drought in California, I doubt you really needed these coats.

To dig deeper into their love affair of bohemian bagginess, I looked into the definition of a Hipster and here is an edited version of what the Urban Dictionary said:

Hipsters are a subculture of men and women typically in their 20's and 30's that value independent thinking, counter-culture, progressive politics, an appreciation of art and indie-rock, creativity, intelligence, and witty banter... Hipsters reject the culturally-ignorant attitudes of mainstream consumers, and are often be seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashions, tight-fitting jeans, old-school sneakers, and sometimes thick rimmed glasses. Both hipster men and women sport similar androgynous hair styles that include combinations of messy shag cuts and asymmetric side-swept bangs. Such styles are often associated with the work of creative stylists at urban salons, and are usually too "edgy" for the culturally-sheltered mainstream consumer.  Despite misconceptions based on their aesthetic tastes, hipsters tend to be well educated and often have liberal arts degrees, or degrees in maths and sciences, which also require certain creative analytical thinking abilities. Consequently many hipsters tend to have jobs in the music, art, and fashion industries.

So lets see Women in their 20's and 30's-check. Seen wearing vintage and thrift store inspired fashion-check check. Tight-fighting jeans and thick rimmed glasses-check check check. Job in music, art and fashion industries-check check check check.  That is a lot of checks, but does it make it okay for them to wear these types of clothes...even if they can afford much better?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I guess it is not our question to ask.  If I was worth $100 million would I wear these outfits?  Absolutely not.  But they are doing something right since I don't think either of them act on a regular basis and yet are still in the public eye.  (We will ignore Beastly).  But girls, it is okay to wear some form fitting clothes.  I understand the love of black, but the clothes can at least fit you.  BURN the parkas and come out in the sun...

(Side Note: I will say that certain examples in the 'Hipster' definition apply to me as well...not sure how I feel about that.  I will keep you posted.  But I mean my new favorite online is Modcloth.com)

Not the 'Same Love' for Brad Pitt

I am gonna make this short and sweet...

 

 

 Hey Brad Pitt, Macklemore wants his hair back!!!

Just Sayin'...Not loving it Brad.

Someone Call Olivia Pope...These Outfits need Fixing

Well the one thing I learned from this weekends SAG Awards...bare mid-drifts are back.  Yay?  Although I do think the dresses seem to be a bit better than the People's Choice Awards outfits, there were a couple that made me scratch my head.  For example, Kerry Washington's pink and black top and skirt ensemble.

Kerry Washington

(Spoiler Warning: Huge Scandal Fan)
Generally I am a fan of pink and black, I mean how can you go wrong.  But this Vera Wang (sorry Vera) number just didn't make my day.  In fact it kinda made me cringe, and not because a pregnant lady is showing her belly, it was just odd.  And can the skirt waistline across the belly really be comfortable?  And the top, looks like it was too tight for her and so they had to rip apart the stitching.  I do like her hot pink purse though...and that is about it.

Mayim Bialik

And staying with the pink and black trend, Mayim Bialik's outfit may be even worse.  In fact, not may be..it is worse.  YOWZA.   This could be one of the ugliest dresses I have ever seen.  Is she 80-years-old?  I am sorry to be mean, that isn't fair to the 80-year old.  The dress could of been a bit better without the black lace top, a shawl could of been better than this too.  Besides the lace, there isn't really much to the dress in way of accessories, making it even more boring.  Hopefully the show was better than her dress.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit???

Well, for Mayim, I guess I would take off the black lace portion and add some accessories. I do like how the front seems a bit shorter, but I think she has basic black pumps on.  So maybe a hipper shoe that matches her jewelry or clutch.  For Kerry, I just don't like it.  The skirt is probably fine, but the top just doesn't work for me.  Heck maybe Mayim's top would look better on her than the pink sequined top.  Kerry and Vera...I just hoped for more.

All and all, not a great night for either of these two ladies.  I would tell both to BURN the dresses.  Kerry usually has much better outfits, so I will give her a slide on this one, although she is now (unbeknownst to me) a two time offender.  If only her 'Scandal' wardrobe people dressed her, cuz Olivia Pope's outfits are amazing...especially her gowns on the show.  And Mayim, you were already on 'What not to Wear' and if this continues, you may want to FIRE your people and hire Stacy and Clinton!


Burn, Baby, Burn...

Well I have had a few days to process the Golden Globes (which none of the shows or people I watch won again...ugh maybe that is whole different issue) and am ready to say a few words.  In an effort to get my blogging going again in 2014 I have decided today is the day. So here goes:



Paula Patton

I will stay away from Julia Roberts black dress with what looks like a collared shirt underneath it.  And I will not mention Sandra Bullocks ugly color blocked blue, black and pink dress.  And I will excuse Drew Barrymore's floral nightmare dress, as she is with child.  And lets face it, that can't be easy to maneuver with a belly.  (See: Kerry Washington's dress for the How-to)

Zoe Saldana

I went with the best of the worst...or worst of the worst?  I guess its definitely in the eye of the beholder...they be-holding some ugly dresses (haha). Let's start with Paula Patton.  I said it during the show and I will say it now, "She looks like a floral arrangement." She looked terribly uncomfortable while presenting, but then wouldn't you with giant orchid fluff by your face.  At least its not multiple colors like the theme seemed to be this year.  Can you imagine this color blocked?  Good because now I can too!

Lena Dunham

Let's move onto Zoe Saldana's wardrobe malfunction.  Oh wait that is what the dress was supposed to look like?  Seriously?  It looks like her stylists sewed several dressed together to make this.  Its pretty bad, even if the straps are supposed to fall down the side.  And for a dress with so much going on...its really just kinda boring.

And finally Lena Dunham.  You may be a critics darling...but gosh darn are you a terrible dresser.  I am simply going to leave you with this picture...cuz I am pretty sure it says it all.  Even she looks appalled by her outfit selection.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Pretty sure its not one of those posts...I will state that I expected more from Zoe and Paula.  If not from them at least their style teams.  As for Lena, I think that is actually about right. 

I would BURN all of these dresses and start over.  And probably Julia's, Sandra's and Drew's while I was at it. Burn, Baby...Burn!!!

If You Can't Say Anything Nice...Don't Look at These Dresses

Claire Danes

So yes, I watched the Emmy's tonight.  While I cleaned my kitchen, did some craft projects, cut my dead flowers from their bushes, vacuumed, went for a run...you know the usual. A special shout out to the invention called the DVR.   And after it was done, all I remembered was Kerry Washington's beautiful gown, and how bad Claire Daines looked when she beat her.

I will let you look up Kerry's as I am sure you will see plenty of it.  Especially due to the fact she didn't win.  But here is Claire's.  Its so... flat.  And yes, I mean flat chested.  I have never wanted to scream, "Get a Boob Job" at anymore more than at her at this very moment.  And I have said it before, she is a pale young lady, was this really the best color?

Alas this wasn't the worse dress for me, sadly it was not even close.

Lena Durham

Lena Dunham from Girls dress reminded me of the Disney classic Alice in Wonderland.  Remember the part where the cards are painting the roses red?  Well now hopefully you have "We're painting the roses red, painting the roses red..." stuck in your head now too.  Regardless I think you get my point.  Not only is the skirt enormous, the dress kind of looks tacky and cheap to me.  And this is for last years winner and nominee for Best Lead Actress.  YIKES!

Zosia Mamet

But even worse may be her co-star ( I guess, I had to look up who she was) Zosia Mamet's dress.  Kinda looks like someone threw paint all over her dress and then blamed it on the Hamburglar!  Yep, I said Hamburglar!  Did anyone tell her, the strapless bra goes underneath the dress and not on top of it?  Really so many jokes, so little time.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Let us be honest, this is more or less the Oscars of television.  So I gotta think all these women had to have had stylists.  And if they didn't, its their own fault.  I am pretty sure I criticized Lena's last year so apparently she doesn't read this blog.  And maybe she should.  ("We are painting the roses red...")  I am going to give some sage advice here ladies, so please listen up.

Step 1) Burn these dresses, except maybe Claire.  Claire give to someone who can fill it out.  
Step 2) Fire your current stylists (if you have one) 
Step 3) Hire NEW competent stylists or hire one (if you didn't have one in step 2
Step 4) Sign up to read this blog...

All and all, I gotta say this is a BURN and FIRE post for all three ladies.  Check out various locations for other Emmy dress fails...and a few wins.  At least I missed most of these on the original viewing, though it may have made it a bit more interesting!

Plastic Isn't Always Better...Unless its Mean Girls!!!

Bruce Jenner

I am going to start by saying that I like Bruce Jenner.  Back in the day, I used to his coffee at Starbucks, circa 2002.  You know back before we watched E! and knew who the Kardashians were.  Most importantly, I don't want to be mean or anything, as Cancer is no joking matter.  But with that aside...

Michael Jackson

Does anyone else think Bruce is starting to look like Michael Jackson?


Nothing we can do to fix, as plastic surgery is well plastic surgery.  But I will let the photos exemplify why it doesn't always work out for the best!

I Didn't Know Miley was in the Little Mermaid?

So I haven't posted in a while...I am sorry.  What can I say, hockey was going on and that is about 3 hours of TV watching a day in addition to what I normally watch.  Yes, I could of posted while watching, but I was too busy yelling.  (Go Flyers!)  Anyways while hosting a book club last night about 'Suri's Burn Book, someone asked me if I had been updating. So with a bit of guilt in my heart and some inspiration with a certain photo...I AM BACK!!!  At least for today...

So saw this picture of Miley Cyrus, who is apparently in a feud with her dad.  (Yawn)  Anyways this picture immediately made me think of something else.  Something we also talked about in my book club last night, the Little Mermaid. Can anyone else say Ursala?

Am I right or AM I RIGHT?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Are you kidding?  Grow out your hair.  I am not going to say anymore than that.

I know a lot of my friends are fans of Mileys and 'Party in the USA'.  And I will probably get in some heat, but I had the need to share.  And back to BURN books, which Miley should do to her hair, Suri's.  Here is the link to the blog, which I hear is better than the book.  Your Welcome.  http://surisburnbook.tumblr.com/

Her Futures So Bright...She's Gotta Wear Shades

I want to start this, like every other post I write about a actress I love...I LOVE EMMA STONE!  She is one of my favorite top 3 actresses.  And I have stood by and seen some interesting outfit choices, most of them not so bad, especially when you consider how many movies she does a year.  But in this recent appearance in NYC on Kelly and Michael, I actually laughed out loud.

While the color isn't the most flattering for her skin tone to begin with, its the flowers on her chest area that grabbed my attention.  Immediately, they reminded my of sunglasses for her breasts.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Although not the best picture, I think you get the point.  The bright yellow splotches of color over power the dress.  Was that really the best placement for them?

If I were Emma, which would be pretty cool, but I would BURN this dress, although very "springy" just not worth it.  Anyways I would get rid of it and move on.  To bigger and brighter days!