Should of STAYED in Hiding!!!

So if you missed it Lindsey Lohan is back in court today and not without her usual antics.  She tried to delay her court date by saying she was too sick to fly to California for a probation violation.  Apparently per E! Online she has tried this before for court dates, shooting movies, etc.  But alas, she was forced to hope on a plane with her "sickness" and out of her NYC hiding spot.

What is sick is this botched spray tan job, or lack-there-of.  Now I know there is nothing wrong with having pale white legs, I have them myself. (And I am 60% legs)  And I understand wanting to be camera ready when your daily business will inevitably be aired all over television or printed in magazines or online.  But if you are going to do the top, can't you spare a few minutes and do the bottom too?  Or throw on a pair of pants?  Its not like you are known for your stems like Cameron Diaz for example, so what is with the need for a skirt.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I have shown bad tans in the past, but she obviously took the time do half.  And if you have spray tanned, admit it most of us have, it only takes a few more minutes to do your legs too.  Just simply lazy, but honestly not sure what I should expect.  But getting off topic, how to save the outfit?  PUT ON A PAIR OF PANTS!!!

Honestly I am kind of sick of hearing about Lindsey and her drama with her career, drugs, driving, her parents, blah, blah blah...but this was too bad to pass up.  One might say, too easy?  Anyways Lindsey, not sure your stylists even work for you anymore (I wouldn't) but this is pretty bad.  Sadly you can't BURN yourself-OUCH...so not sure what else to say.  A picture is worth a thousand words and that is about mine on this topic!

Link to E! Online Article: http://www.eonline.com/news/383283/lindsay-lohan-makes-it-to-court-after-arrival-drama-trial-date-set-for-probation-violation

Golden Globes Focus...Probably NOT Where These Actresses Wanted

Its officially Awards Season...WOOOHOOO!!!  And last night was the first big event of the year, The Golden Globes.  And with any award season comes my favorite part, the questionable outfit selections.  There were a few "Interesting" choices and then there were the dresses that really stood out to me for different reasons, none of the them for particularly good reasons.  And here they are...



Left to Right: Jessica Chastain, Kristen Wiig and Halle Berry

I am not saying that these outfit selections by these women were necessarily the worst, but I had some interesting thoughts. Starting with Jessica Chastain, when you are already a pale female (which I am), a light blue gown probably isn't the best choice.  Plus with red hair and red lipstick?  And along with fellow presenter Kristen Wiig, neither really fill out the top of their dress.  So Jessica's kind of just bunches in the chest and hips like pillows, not too flattering.  For Kristen's, I cant decide if it remind me of an exclamation point or an arrow pointing down.  Neither of which should bring attention to kind of a boring outfit.  And finally Halle Berry's dress, was pretty, until the close up where it looked like her right side of her chest area was spilling out of the fabric.  Careful, you might lose something!
 
Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Perhaps with a needle and thread, some of these "Interesting" dress choices could be fixed.  Jessica's #1 problem is color choice.  And perhaps with a good seamstress the rest could be altered.  Maybe a bolder piece of jewelry, like a necklace with a bit more pop of color may have helped?  For Kristen's, if a cut out is the most interesting part of your outfit, probably not a good sign.  But she doesn't have the right upper body to pull this off and seemed almost uncomfortable.  Maybe also a better accessory piece could of helped.  And Halle, fix the chest area-just looked odd.  Colors were great.

I haven't seen enough of Kristen's outfits to comment on her style selections.  And I am pretty sure with the last few years Jessica has had, she has stylists to help her, Oscar noms and all.  So both ladies need to BURN these dresses and move on.  As for Halle, your people should of stopped this boob action from happening, but no need for drastic means.  Just I expect more next time.

And finally if you are gonna rock a gown, make sure you can walk in it and your shoes.  Girl's winner Lena Dunham looked like it was her first night in heels.  And with winning two awards and somewhat the 'Bell of the Ball', you may want to work on that.  You are in the big leagues now.

2013 People's Worst Choices Award

Last Night was the 2013 People's Choice Awards on CBS.  Although I did not watch it, I figured it was a good opportunity to check out some outfits on the beautiful people and comment accordingly.  As expected the men wore suits, always appreciated, and the women were a bit more daring.  But daring doesn't always mean good...

Katy Perry

Katy Perry's outfit or as I named this dress, "Black Strawberry Shortcake Dress" was out of the norm.  For Katy, this was a pretty tame outfit and almost boring for her.  Perhaps without the sleeves it would of been more appealing, and not a winterized floral dress.  And the shoes were very boring, although I can understand she wanted the dress to standout, but this Valentino dress is not all that amazing and needs some help.



Olivia Munn

The other look I was not a fan of was Oliva Munn's black and white multiple layers dress. The skirt kinda reminds me of a black and white lace wedding cake, probably not something you want to wear, only eat.    The trumpet-style skirt shouldn't flair below the knee, rather would of been much more flattering above it.  And she, like Katy, opted for minimal flair to go with their outfits, Olivia couldn't even muster up a fun shoe!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

As for Katy's, I again wish the sleeves were not included in the dress.  And probably then shouldn't be worn during winter.  All she is missing is black tights to make this outfit even worse.  As for Olivia's, a simple skirt would of been much better or at least a shorter one, one tier less or so.  And perhaps a bracelet or something to drag attention away from this lackluster outfit. 

In a night where most of the ladies at the awards show definitely had stylists helping them out (based on how they look on their own), these two ladies either didn't listen or stylists didn't help them out...especially Olivia.  Katy, BURN the sleeves and Olivia, FIRE your stylists.  This may have been the worst outfit on the red carpet...don't believe me? Feel free to check out other examples.  You know you want to...

Only Suitable for a PacMan Video Game!!!

Its not going out on a limb to call Chloe Sevigny "quirky."  As an independent movie darling, I suppose she has earned this right.  However when going to a serious movie, such as 'Lincoln', I am not sure that is the best place to show off that particular side.

In New York she wore this black and white suit, which perhaps because I am hungry, reminds me of hamburgers.  I am not sure even the 'Hamburglar' would approve.  And this would be a dream from PacMan and Ms. PacMan.  But really, to a red carpet premiere?

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

With bold patterns like this, you need at least one of your pieces to be a solid.  And a turtleneck undershirt probably wasn't enough of one.  Either her jacket or pants should of been a solid.  Maybe jeans with this would of worked.  Or even some sort of pop of color to try and help divert ones eyes from the human size video game. Heck, even the pants are too long, a pointed toe shoe coming out the bottom in a great color would have helped.  The whole thing is pretty atrocious. 

Chloe, I am going to hope that your people didn't do this you, as that would just be mean.  And I would hope they know better. But I would BURN the entire outfit, as you nor I are not going to lose any sleep if this outfit goes away FOR-EVER.  And next time, if they allow you out in public again, remember to pair bold patterns with a solid or a smaller pattern.  And to not wear your hamburgers out, you eat them!

Sheer Dresses, Bad Shoes and Rainboots at Breaking Dawn Premiere

Kristen Stewart

Well  it is November 14th and that only means one thing, come Thursday night at Midnight, the "Twilighters" will be out full force, as Breaking Dawn Part 2 comes out.  And I would like to say if Part one and the outfits at the premiere are any indication of how the next part will be...I will be taking my time to rush to the theater.  Not only did the first part make me never want to ever have a vampire baby (I know right?), but it left me not as excited for part 2 of what was my favorite book in the series. Yes, I read them. No I am not ashamed.  But trying to give it a chance, I took a whirl around the premiere circuit of photos and found some awful examples of what not to do when you are an actress...or a female dressing for the red carpet.

Lets start with the star, Kristen Stewart.  Although I was shocked to see her out of her standard tight black jeans and black leather jacket...ummm, I think this dress might be a little too sheer.  She looks like an anatomically correct Barbie when you take her clothes off.   I appreciate the attempt, but millions and millions of people are going to see this.  I personally would of not gone this direction, it leaves a little too little for the imagination.


Elle Fanning


Then we move on to Dakota Fannings, Lil sister Elle.  While Elle is not in the movie, Dakota is. And I would be mad if my Lil sister stole attention from me at my own premiere.  However, it was not not in a good way.  It looks like her dress skirt was too long and she decided just to wrap it around her waist.  And the shoes?  These may be the worst shoes I have ever Ever EVER seen. I am assuming she tried for a Japanese theme, but she failed. Miserably.  A sumo outfit may have come off better than this pink number.

Alexandra Patsavas

And finally, Alexandra Patsavas.  Yeah I don't know who she is either.  She is a music supervisor who worked on the film.  So not an actress, but still should be used to dressing for premieres...or to go out in public.  And while I admire her attempt at color, not sure yellow looking rain boots are the way to go.  Especially in what is one of the most anticipated red carpets of the year.  But alas, this is what she decided to go with.

Hmmm, how to save the outfits?

I can explain away a lot, but you gotta think that if you are planning to attend such a big premiere, you would dress accordingly.  I think Kristen just made a bad choice.  Perhaps her and her people wanted to make a statement, but not sure this is the right one.  I do like that she dressed up, so she did get a few points.  But Elle and Alexandra...there are no words.  If a picture tells a thousand words, then these pictures are all curse words!

 

Elle and Alexandra need to BURN their entire outfits and go home.  And Kristen, while I don't think the dress was great, it could be better with a longer slip skirt.  So just try to do better, but again, you are out of jeans! 

You Are about 2 YEARS LATE Misha Barton

Sorry for the delay in posting, moving sure takes a lot of your time.  However, I am back up and running as they say, so for my next victim, I mean celebrity...Its Misha Barton.  Yes, some of you may remember her from 'The OC' and I think she was on a cancelled show about models too.  But I don't recall her doing anything currently.  But none the less, she is in Australia and trying to get her face out there.

Hat at Melbourne Cup

However not sure if showing your face under these hats are the way to go.  I found the first one of her attending the Melbourne Cup.  Kinda reminds me of one of those coffee cup home decor paintings with the steam rising up.  Not sure why she would want to pair that with a Indian serape, but to each is own. 

Hat at YRC Luncheon

And then the next one is at the VRC Oaks Club luncheon, also in Melbourne.  And apparently a hat is required there too.  The flower looks like something I have from a beach potpourri set I have in my bathroom, sewn onto a Japanese hat.  The saving grace is at least the dress is cuter than the first one and a bit more appropriate for a luncheon.  But still, who is really looking at the dress?

Hmmm, how to save the outfits???

Well first off...you could just take off the hats.  I am all for headwear, but make them reflect the outfits you are wearing.  The one for the YRC affair would be fine without the white paper mache looking flower.  And the other, well I think she is about 2 years too late for Prince William and Kate's wedding.  These hats would fit in nicely there.

Not to harp on Misha, not sure she has a fashion team standing by to help her out.  But unless going to a royal wedding or costume party, I would BURN both these hats.  The rest of the outfits are not awful, but again with such drastic hats, who will even notice them?

A 'Cutout' Above the Rest? Not this Time.

I know Mena Suvari's career has been slow since the mid-2000's, when the American Pie movies took a break...as did her fame.  (I am not trying to be mean, it is what happened-Google it!)  And now it looks like she has to revert to drastic methods to scare up some publicity.  I.E., this outfit she wore to an H&M affair in New York.

This black cutout bra on a nude long sleeve top, navy skirt and silver gum wrapper purse was what she thought looked good I guess.  I suppose the top might be from one of H&M's lines, which might be cute for a young 20-something with the right skirt, but neither the skirt nor Mena were able to pull this off.  It kind of reminds me of those dress up doll games you played when you were kids (now online) and just threw on random pieces of clothing, because that was how you dressed like as a kid. (See below for example.) You didn't necessarily care what matched or made your legs look longer, or waist look slimmer.   And apparently Mena didn't care about that either-as she chose this lovely assemble.


Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Without Photoshop?  I think she needs to pick the style she was to going for, sex or sophisticated, I don't think she could do both. If her heart was set on the top, at least go with it and wear a cute black mini skirt or even pants.  Then at least you are all in the same tones.  No idea why she felt a flowing navy skirt would suit the bill.  But it was just a mess.  And the clutch, was way too large for her petite form.  I am pretty sure she ran into a store and said, "What is on sale?"

Mena, oh Mena, I am not doing this to be mean, but this is pretty bad.  Most of the pieces themselves aren't that bad.  But I think you are too old to be wearing a bra cutout top to get attention, so BURN that just on principle.  And if you are going to try to make another shot at fame, hire a stylist.  Please, do not dress yourself anymore.  Your privileges are hereby revoked until further notice!

You forgot the Chanel Broom!

I understand "Child Stars" sometimes beat to their own drums. And the Fanning Family is no exception.  But really, stylists, how are you going to let your girl go out like this? 

Elle Fanning attended Chanel's 80th anniversary party in NYC, for its fine jewelry collection, in the label's couture black velvet dress, hat and shoes.  News flash, just because its Chanel, doesn't make it right.  And if you think you look like a witch and are not going to a Halloween party...DON'T WEAR IT!!!

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Get another outfit?  I am not sure she needed to go so over the top with black velvet.  And its a jewelry event, where are the jewels?  Perhaps if she went with just the dress, she could could of modernized it up a bit with some color or amazing shoes.  Chanel is 80, not Elle.

I am guessing someone gave her this outfit to wear, because what normal 14-year-old wants to dress like her grandma.  So if I were Elle, I would BURN everything I had on and FIRE all the people that made me wear this ensemble.  Really its like old fashioned torture for me, America and Elle to see. 

A Little Color Can go a Long Way...Sometimes TOO Far!!!

I have heard of matching your shoes and your bag.  But not sure I have done the matching the shoes and lipstick angle...especially when said shoes are purple.  But that is what Amanda Seyfried did at the Mui Mui fashion week show in Paris. 

Amanda is wearing a 3 button red suit, which is a bit matronly, especially for Miu Miu show, but that's what she went with.  Styled with Prada bag and purple heels, she was ready to make a statement.  And that she did. When I originally saw the picture, I didn't really see to much wrong with it, till I scrolled down to the shoes.  She is a pale girl and while some color may be good, so much reds and purples overpower her.  I guess this is why we never saw Casper the friendly ghost wearing clothes...

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well I am not a fan of over the ankle length pants, so maybe a longer pant and more stylish suit jacket would help. Best case, get rid of the shoes with that outfit, they aren't even the right style to go with a suit. 

I think this is a case of when a shoe goes bad and good people get hurt.  The good people being you and me, who have to look at this outfit together.  Maybe she had 3 stylists and all of them picked out a piece of her outfit, without seeing the others.  I am not sure, but I know Amanda can do better.  So lets not BURN anything today, since they are PRADA shoes, but not wear as a outfit together again....and you are now a 2-time offender and officially on my watch list! (Wait- I need to start a watch list first.)

I Have NO DOUBT, This outfit is BAD!!!

Pretty sure when you enter the name Gwen Stefani, front woman for No Doubt, into your search engine, the term 'Fashion Pop Icon' will come up.  She has had a huge impact over the last twenty-some years in music and fashion.  I will not argue that, even if I don't necessarily like her style.  This outfit she wore for an appearance with the band is vintage Gwen...circa 2002.  I expected better, that's all I can say.

Gwen has two fashion lines, L.A.M.B and Harajuku Lovers.  She has been in multiple campaigns for makeup and hair ads.  So we can say, she has some experience and knows what works.  Obviously I think most would agree (aside from die-hard fans) this probably doesn't.  She is 42-years-old now with kids. She doesn't need to still be running around with her mid-drift showing like she did in her good old teenage days in California.  But like I said vintage Gwen with combat boots, parachute pants and black.  But there is just so much going on with her outfit, you miss that she is actually talented and might label her a goofball-not the businesswoman she has become.

 

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Not sure this can be saved.  Maybe some high heels to make her a bit more feminine?  Wear a shirt that covers her belly?  I like her style when it is more feminine.  I saw her jump on stage at a Prince concert last summer and she looked great in a cute dress.  Much more in the direction she should be going with her clothing selections as she gets older. I already saw teenager Gwen on stage, don't need to see it forever.

Gwen, vintage or not, I would BURN the baby baby t-shirt and the pants, I guess leave the combat boots and blazer.  And maybe try a more feminine "Punk" look...I have faith, you can do it.  As an example, here is a black outfit you wore on same trip to London, that was more up to your fashion icon standards!