Hahahahaha...

So there is no fashion post related to this picture of Jhene Aiko and Ariana Grande.  But am I the only one who thinks this picture looks hilarious?

Doesn't it look like Jhene is holding Ariana up in the air like a tiny little doll???  

Please comment on this if you think this is as funny as I do. Come on, you know you have something to say...

Has anyone seen my Loofah?

Last night was the Grammy Awards, with the usual culprits in attendance. I won't talk about how Kanye West gave his point of view, whether we wanted it or not.  Or I won't mention Madonna's matador outfit. Or Iggy's birds nest braid on top of her head.  Nope, the texts I received most comments on about the Grammy's (which I did not watch), were about Rihanna's outfit...or the pink loofah she wore.

She definitely gave pretty in pink a new meaning.  Wow...that is poofy!  Questions I was immediately asked where:

1. Did she go in the limo like that?
2. How does she sit down?

Maybe she didn't sit all night. And maybe she caught a gust of wind and flew to the awards show, leaving the limo at home and saving a few bucks.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

The color itself was very pretty on her.  And the top of the dress. And that is all the good I can say. From there down...it literally goes down hill.  I have attached a picture to the right of a loofah, for those of you who may not know what one is.  Yes that sponge thing in your shower that you use to rub body wash on you is called a "Loofah."  It is not something you should wear as a dress.  The only thing that could of made this even worse, would be a matching pink loofah clutch.  Although maybe that would of helped too?

Rihanna, I have somewhat questioned your style in the past, per recent posts. And your decisions maybe a little more, I won't even mention round 2 with Chris Brown.  But this is pretty bad.  I would say BURN this dress immediately.  Because even if it was awful, you didn't even wear it best, this girl did:

Here is a video on how to make your own.  You are welcome America!!!

A Little Imagination can Sometimes be Just Enough-Vivica is just TOO MUCH

I applauded Vivica A. Fox on Monday Night as she called out Kendra Moore on 'Celebrity Apprentice'.  The fact that Kendra could of stolen her phone, tweeted as Vivica a menopausal comment and then tried to use it in the board room was appalling.  But Kendra has done some sketchy stuff on her time on 'The Real Housewives of Atlanta' and we were all talking about it the next day.  But did Vivica get the last laugh?

Vivica A. Fox

My hands that were used to clap for her, quickly turned to cover my eyes when I saw this photo this morning from Vivica at the Femmy Awards.  Yes folks, those are nipples.  And this is one of the rare photos I could find without something covering them up on the Internet.  You can clearly see her areola showing through the transparent beaded gown.  And in other pictures when she twists and turns, you can see even more.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I can understand she wanted to show off her body a bit, especially after some of the comments that were directed towards her in the episode.  If you haven't watched, you should.  She was very upset.  So I can see the motive behind this.  But two wrongs and I guess two nipples, don't make a right.  She couldn't wear a pair of pasties?  And in fairness the beading could of been a little more plentiful in this area.  But designers will be designers.

Evangeline Lilly

Its pretty apparent she wanted to make a statement.  And don't let it be called a "Wardrobe Malfunction" because that is 100% not what it was.  While I say if you got it, work it...may be a bit too much.  The dress is beautiful so do not BURN, maybe stay away from closeups?  And maybe plan ahead a bit better. However...Kendra who?

And in a effort to show a better example of sexy cleavage done right, I included another example.  Here is Evangeline Lilly in a dress that shows off a lot and leaves some to the imagination.  It is a similar idea, but done correctly and elegantly.  Well done!

And what the heck is the Femmy Awards?  Here is a link:
The Femmy Awards

When your DOG wears MORE CLOTHES than YOU...Time to Check your Fashion Choices

I may be out of the norm here, but when I plan to get off the plane, I make sure I have everything.

•  Luggage-CHECK
•  Cell Phone-CHECK
•  Pants-CHECK

Seems logical right?  Well I guess no one ever said that Lady Gaga was logical.  I mean she did wear a coat of Kermit the Frogs once.  But still, put some pants on!!!

This photo was taken at LAX (for those of you who don't know-the airport in Los Angeles, CA.)  And while yes, it has been warm, we are in no way involved in a heatwave that would encourage anyone to remove their pants.  Heck the dog is even wearing a coat (and more clothes than Gaga) in what is usually a cold atmosphere...an airplane.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Well if you ever read this blog, you will know I am not a fan of the sans-pants wardrobe, made famous by Christina Aguilera on the Voice.  So Step #1, don't copy the fashion trend of Christina, because you are not going to get any points from me. Step #2, PUT ON PANTS!!!

I would start by saying Lady Gaga, BURN all of your tops so you don't have the option to just wear them. However I am afraid of what you would come up with then.  So please keep your bottomless days to your home and away from the poor guy in a suit trying really hard to get out of the shot.

Bonus Points: Your puppy is very cute!!!

This Outfit is NOT for the Dogs...or a Dog Park

Apparently I am doing something wrong when I take my dog Barrett out for a walk.  I tend to leave my "nightclub" attire in the closest, when its daytime and I am not going out clubbing.  But hey, Christina Milian has different plans.  

Although her pup seems to like the outfit, or the treats she is holding hostage in the bag, I am not sure I wouldn't mock in public if I saw this.  The outfit is probably expensive and no doubt fashionable, which is all well and great.  But its January...in the day...IN A DOG PARK!!!  

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I know Christina is no doubt out making appearances for her new TV show, one of which I have not checked out yet.  But I am sure one late night, when nothing else is on, I will catch a rerun.  But not sure this outfit makes her super relatable...to give her one last shot at stardom (her words, not mine).  I guess reading social media posts on the Voice is not working for her any longer.

I didn't intend on attempting to fix this outfit.  In the right time and place, this outfit would be considered acceptable. But throw on a pair of jeans and take the dog for a walk.  I don't think he requires a dress code to hang out with him.  

No need to BURN or FIRE anyone...just make better choices, like not trying to look like Kim Kardashian. 

What Bad Dresses do to Bad Dressers

There are certain people who want to be considered quirky.  I get it. But there is a time and place.  And after almost 2 weeks, this outfit still drives me so crazy that I felt I should just post something about it to alleviate my annoyance of it...if not only as a "PLEASE NEVER DRESS LIKE HER" warning.

Lena Dunham wore this to the 2014 Emmy Awards. My first question (because there are a lot) was were flamingos hurt in the making of this dress?  And why a collared shirt?  Ugh....although her look in the picture pretty much mirrored my face when seeing this on the computer.

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I am not even going to ask how to save this outfit...cuz I can't really see this is possible to fix.  And at a big huge event like the Emmy's where your show 'Girls' was no doubt nominated for awards, you chose to wear this? Or better yet, chose to allow your fashion consultants to let you where this?  I would FIRE them all, as I am pretty sure I have never seen a outfit I like you in.

But not to seem completely heartless...I will Google it and see if I can find an acceptable outfit.  Please hold (cue Jeopardy Music)...


ALAS, a outfit I do not hate:

See in this Glamour magazine article, a simple navy blue pleated dress.  Very cute, very simple with maroon ankle strap heels.  Classic.  Why does she feel the need to wear these outlandish outfits?  And worse yet, why do her fashion mavens allow it.  I wouldn't allow it if she was one of my friends, or other people I help dress.

But I do feel better about finding her in something respectable-like.  It gives me hope that one of these awards shows, she will simple do better!

ALERT: Missing Pants found...WITHOUT the owner in them

Do not be alarmed...well maybe a little bit.  Rihanna did not really lose her pants, I guess she just chose to go without them.  But I guess at this point we are lucky she put anything on?  And here is another celebrity (see previous examples of Christina Aguilera who was seen on 'The Voice' sans bottoms) who have believe underwear make acceptable outerwear.  

And no she isn't on the way to the beach and this is just a fancy cover up. She thought her scallop-edges black underwear and sheer dress would be enough.  Even we don't need to be Superman with x-ray vision to know this isn't what should be worn in public. And does anyone think Crazy Gypsy Lady too? Its the hair right? Please don't cast a curse on me for writing this...

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

I don't think you even need to like fashion to get this one right.  Say it with me...WEAR BOTTOMS.  That you can't swim in.  A short mini skirt, short shorts, heck even boy shorts would of been better than this.  I am not saying she can't pull this off, but should she?

So Rihanna, I am gonna say that even while you may be on vacation, you shouldn't relax too much and skip proper dressing etiquette.  Somewhere, Joan Rivers would of had a field day with this on her celeb fashion show.  RIP in Joan...your fashion jokes (although pre-written) many times were hilarious and true.  So Rihanna BURN this outfit, its not cute at all...you have got plenty of money to buy something anything else!

NO Homie is better than THIS Homies

I will confess, which I have before in this blog, that I don't always leave the house in my greatest outfits.  However for an appointment, especially a doctors appointment, I might step it up a bit.  This is Pete Wentz and his pregnant girlfriend Meagan Camper on the way to a doctors appointment.  Now yes, Meagan is gonna have to trade in her vintage sweatshirt, which I can appreciate, for a gown...Pete is not. 

However the casual clothes isn't what grabbed my attention, it is the 'Homies' across the crotch.  Is this the male version of PINK sweatpants by Victoria's Secret?  Personally I don't really enjoy writing across a part of my body that no one should be really looking at in public.  But maybe this is a shout out to his "little homies?"

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

Maybe solid black shorts would of been a safer bet.  But not sure that is really Pete's style.  I couldn't even find these on the Homies website, so that is probably saying something.

Pete, next doctors appointment, leave the Homies shorts at home.  Meagan. while he is gone BURN his shorts, or in the future get used to people staring at his little homie...or big homie.  (Why, what have you heard?)

Couldn't Anyone of Helped a Brother Out?

I came to the realization, as I fast forwarded through this last weekends MTV Movie Awards, I might be a little too old to continue to watch this.  But why not skip through 2 hours of 'Hunger Games' loving and watch the few key items I wanted to see.  1) The Paul Walker Tribute 2) Eminem with Rihanna singing Monster and 3) Channing Tatum receiving the illustrious Trail Blazer Award.  Okay so maybe that wasn't my intention, but those were pretty much the three things I watched.

During the Speech

But as I sat thinking how cute Channing was, something really bothered me.  Jonah Hill, co-star in 21 and 22 Jump Street, presented the award to "Chan."  (Side note: I have also decided I own enough of his movies, I get to call him Chan too) But while he was, we will call it, roasting Channing, he set the award on some steps that were covered in soot.  So when Channing finally got the award, his black jacket was a mess. 

The whole 3 minute or so speech, I found myself watching to see how bad it got.  And waiting to see if his wife Jenna would try to point it out to him.  Not sure how, but isn't it your duty to try? I mean you are married to Channing Tatum. I would of.  Anyways front and back the poor guy covered his jacket in the ashy mess.

After the Acceptance

Now while this isn't a typical "Hmmm, how can we save the outfit" post, I was kinda shocked to see that even backstage, while taking pictures with the wife, it was still all over him.  Couldn't anyone of helped him out?  Surely wardrobe was backstage to help with "wardrobe malfunctions."  Alas, this did not happen and the soot filled photo ops continued.

Oh well, maybe I am just a little overly-sensitive about it.  But wondered if anyone else sat at home wondering, "Couldn't anyone of helped a brother out?"  Too bad you didn't marry me Chan...maybe next time.  (I'm Kidding)

Save the Hat for your Private Island...Or next Tim Burton Film

Apparently hats are the hip new thing.  Pharrell wore a Mountie hat to the Oscars and now Johnny Depp wore one to this weekends MTV Movie Awards. (In all fairness he did also wear one in the 2012 awards when he played with the Black Keys) However, you will notice one huge difference in Mr. Depp's hat this year....the giant torn portion down the middle.

I mean let us be honest here Johnny, if anyone can afford a hat, sans tear, its you.  YOU OWN YOUR OWN ISLAND!!!  And its not a teeny tiny one either, its 35-acres, so remote you have to fly into and then take what else?  Your own private yacht of course to get there. The asking price was $3.5 million dollars, so I am pretty sure you can afford several hats. Even one that is not ripped apart.

(Want to know who else owns their own islands?  Here ya go: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/26/private-islands_n_2365359.html)

Hmmm, how to save the outfit?

DON'T WEAR A HAT RIPPED DOWN THE MIDDLE!!!

Obviously Johnny Depp is a little eccentric.  You would have to be with some of the roles he has been cast in. And all those Tim Burton films, would drive anyone a little crazy.  But c'mon no one could tell him, "Do not wear that Hat."  So BURN the hat and buy a new one...pretty sure you are good for it.